Some of you may know I have always joked about writing a book about my past relationships because they were very informative and some even comical. I figured that I would title each chapter with the name or the pseudonym of the individual.. Well I was thinking today that I could begin to blog about them instead… Hmmmm now which one to pick, it’s a tough call, but I guess the first one that pops into my mind is the Detroit drunk!
Detroit Drunk
my age at the time: 29-30
his age at the time: 29-30
where: Chandler, Az
The Detroit drunk and I met on eHarmony, we were match several months prior to actually meeting in person, he worked as a paramedic and I at the hospital, so it was tough to coordinate schedules, and it was a busy time for me traveling. We emailed for months and finally agreed to meet in person. He picked me up at my house which is a first for me because usually I don’t allow people to know where I live, but I dug him and he seemed harmless. We went to Jerseys for our first date… Hmmm do you think at that moment it would have hit me, hey he took me to a bar on our first date? It was fun though, it was back in the day when you could smoke inside bars, so we smoked and drank and had a good time. In talking we learned that his room mate is friends and co workers with someone I had known for about 7 years, later in the evening we went to his house and watched Top Gun, he then drove me home. I remember that he called me morning noon and night to chit chat or hang out.. I wasn’t in any rush to begin dating so I held him at bay for awhile.. I lesson now I need to follow because it seems to work so much better then being available all the time for the guy. Fast forward a month and we were officially dating. We dated 11 months total, it was 3 months of good and 8 months of bad. I had a few good experiences with him, sometimes he seemed to really be sweet and care about me, but what I learned about him was he was leading a double life, he was saying and doing one thing on the surface and doing another behind closed doors. He has an excessive drinking problem, and an addiction to sex, i.e. pornography, chat rooms, web cams etc. It is sad a disappointing to think of how someone can completely trick you into believing he is someone he isn’t. I also spent the worst 10 days of my life in Michigan with this guy, meeting his family because he and I had spoken of a long term future together… Whew, I dodged a bullet with that one……
What I can say I learned through this is situation is you have to follow your gut instinct, you have to do what your intuition is telling you. I believed that because I was in love that meant I needed to forgive his infidelity, what that really told him is “wow this girl loves me so much she will forgive my cheating, so hmm I might as well keep doing it.” WRONG, just because your a Christian and in love with someone doesn’t mean you are obligated to forgiveness. Did I love this person, yes I did, I loved him with all that I was, however his infidelity diminished any love that I had felt for him.
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