Thursday, July 8, 2010

Time changes

I just returned home from another trip to Oklahoma… It’s 2 hours ahead there…. So really my body believes it’s 0330 and it’s really only 0130 in Arizona… I should be sleeping but my mind is swimming with thoughts of the trip…

I thought I’d be excited to be home, to sleep in my bed to see my pup Bella, but the truth is as I got ready for bed tonight, I was sad that I wasn’t snuggling up to my Oklahoma, I was sad that a sweet childs face won’t be waking me up to make them breakfast, I was sad that I won’t be getting loved on by kids all day tomorrow….

In my wildest dreams I would have never guessed that I could love stepchildren like this, or the family Oklahoma and I now share….

It’s much much harder walking away from kids at the airport than it ever has been walking away from Oklahoma… What a crummy feeling of disappointment!!

This week we had the kids for the entire length of my trip. Oklahoma has a 10 year old girl, 9 year old girl and 4 year old boy!

This week I was a maid, chef, beautician, encyclopedia, shopper, nurse, planner, book reader, teacher, entertainer, waitress, laundry sorter, I could keep going, but what it really comes down to is  MOM…..

I have an amazing appreciation for my mom, how she managed to stay home with us and keep us entertained in the summer all 4 of us girls is beyond me. I’ve always adored my mom but now that I was “mom” for a week, wow what a full time job it is!! And yes, there were plenty of times I just wanted 5 minutes of quite time, I still loved every single moment of it…

It clicked with me, no wonder I love being a nurse, I’m a natural care take and nurturer at heart. I’ve just been doing this nursing thing to satisfy my need and want of a family…

I used to be so career oriented and driven, I gained my self worth from my career and after a  week with the kids, I have a new focus. I can’t wait to spend my life being a wife and a mother!!

I love you Oklahoma, and the kids so very much, thanks for a  great week!!