The Prince Charming Cowboy

The Prince Charming Cowboy

my age at the time: 16-19

his age at the time: 17-20

where: Chandler, Az /Tempe, Az

I met this boy while working at Wendy's when I was 16 years old. I had just transferred to Mountain Pointe HS and got a job at Wendy's. There was an instant attraction to this boy, he was tall and shy, and had the cutest smile and straightest teeth! (Still am such a teeth girl) I had a pretty serious boyfriend at the time which is someone I will write about another time. This guy and I would talk and flirt at work, and would close up the store and stand around outside chatting. It quickly became something more..

We started our senior year of high school at separate schools, but would still see each other at work and would hang out, when we had time. I think we both knew that we had feelings for each other, but my current boyfriend hung over our heads. I finally told my current bf about him. I figured it was time he knew my interest was elsewhere.

I remember graduation day, I graduated and visited with my family and then left to drive to Corona to watch him graduate! Shortly after he left to go away to boot camp. We kept in touch and when he came home we visited with hung out and caught up.

My family really liked him he was a sweet guy, and he was really good to me. I remember he was home on leave once and he came and spent Easter with us, funny, because we have it on video tape!

Well we lost contact and he ended up married with a child. We reconnected a few years ago, I was in the process of leaving the Detroit Drunk and he was in a bad marriage, we formed our quick friendship again and talked a lot. I finally left the Detroit Drunk. By then the Prince Charming Cowboy had divorced his wife. I think this was the first time in our lives we were both single at the same time. Well he sent me this long email explaining that he had been talking to someone else all this time and was dating her. I was a little sad by this because I was glad to finally have our chance. He dated her for several months and they recently ended things.

He’s a good guy and deserves a good girl. However he is still so hung up on the ex girlfriend that he can’t see anything except his life with her.

The Funny Pharmacist

Another chapter in the book!!

The Funny Pharmacist

my age at the time: 24

his age at the time: 24

where: Chandler, Az

So there is this guy who I once dated….. I met him 7 years ago, in summer school! He was in my A & P class and I thought he was cute, so I left a note on his car that said, I think your cute call me! What is funny is he didn’t know who it was that left him the note. Well he called and we dated that summer, he was super cute and we had a lot of fun together. We both knew it was a good time not a long time, so at the end of the summer we parted ways.

Fast forward 7 years and he finds me on Facebook. We reconnect and catch up. He’s living in DC going to school now. We chatted a few times via the phone to catch up and maintained contact via text and Facebook.

Well he came home for the summer and we started talking a little more and a few weeks ago we went out for drinks and to catch up in person. We had a fun time. It’s funny to listen to someone else’s perspective on a previous relationship. He thinks I had a big mouth back then, which makes me laugh now because I don’t know how true that is…… ;)

We’ve had lengthy phone calls which are really nice because he get’s my schedule, he gets that I am a workaholic, and we can swap work stories and know what each other are talking about! As he pointed out to me tonight, he grew up with him mother being a nurse, he knows the demands of the career.

My funny Pharmacist makes me laugh, he has a quick witted sense on humor! As I told him tonight about this guy I once “dated” long distance and how we didn’t know when we were going to see each other again, he said “If you don't know when your gonna see each other again, then you don't want to see them bad enough!” HA HA HA I love it! Because it’s so true! It used to be like pulling teeth to get that person to see me, and it was always for just a brief time, so I always felt like I had to make the most of our time together by cramming as much as I could in!!

For that reason above that is why I love having guy friends, because they are honest, and they will always give you the guy perspective! Here is a Q & A session from our phone call tonight:

Q: Do you kiss all the girls your friends with?

A: I don’t have that many friends that are girls!

LOL again, another funny BUT true answer! Sadly my Funny Pharmacist has to return back to DC for school next week. So our lengthy phone chats will be diminished to text message because of his demands of school, which is completely understandable.

I will be sad to see him go, but excited for him as he begins another school year!

The DJ

  Another chapter in my book.

“The DJ”

 

my age at the time: 17-30

his age at the time: 18-31

where: Chandler, Az / Mesa, AZ

In the  summer of1995 I took my first airplane trip as an adult to Kansas City, Missouri. I was a member of a student organization called VICA. I knew no one on this trip and I was going to compete in a competition called Health Knowledge Bowl. I had competed at  the state championship and had placed first, so I was part of the Arizona delegation who went to the National Competition. I knew no one else going. In the airport I was in line and this guy was in front of me being rude, and I said to him “your such an asshole” and he said your such “a bitch” and from there we went our separate ways. As we got  settled in K.C. MO, I realized that guy was the state president of the organization, and I was going to be stuck spending A LOT of time with him, as I always also there helping to run a campaign for national office for one of the other members.

That summer was the first time I EVER heard Dave Matthews Band. We were sitting in the presidential suite of the Marriott preparing campaign materials, and The DJ and Mr. National President had put on “Ants marching” something about that song I LOVED.

Anyhow, The DJ, and I became fast friends. He had a  girlfriend that lived in Boston, and I was dating/engaged to the Marine (See that post here) . We spent the rest of the summer palling around as best buds. We enrolled in the community college together we took the same classes, he’d go have lunch with my mom on his breaks between class. We really were best friends.

By the time I called it off with the Marine I was 19, we decided that we liked each other, we dated for 2 years, and they were a pretty good 2 years. We felt like we fell back into a friendship, so we broke up.

Well for 11 more years we played that game, of best friends, boy friend/girl friend. The best thing about him was he wasn’t afraid to say no to me, he had a backbone and wouldn’t always let me get my way.

The DJ and I shared an amazing relationship, we watched family members get married, divorced, have babies, move, attended funerals with each other for support, we really had an a close bond.

Once we were “older” we would always end up wanting more when the other when didn’t, it was almost comical the way it’d work out.

The DJ was that 1 person in the world that I could call  up and he would know by the tone of my voice what was going on and what I was  thinking… We were that close.

The past 2 years we grew distant as he started dating someone new, and I was dating the Detroit Drunk {click here}. He moved to California and then back here again, and he moved in with his girlfriend and that definitely was the end of our friendship because she had big insecurities about me.

I don’t blame her at all, I’d be upset if  my boyfriend had that kind of closeness with another woman, after all 13 years of friendship and dating is a long time, and a lot shared between us.

Everyone who knew us always told us we’d end up married because that was the relationship we had, we were very compatible, we traveled the country together, go riding on his motorcycle, we’d take weekend getaways, and we had a long standing tradition of Pizza and Beer on Wed. nights. We could lay on the deck and watch the stars and talk until the sun rose and never ran out of things to say…

Now, we don’t speak at all, it’s a bummer to share that much with someone and have them out of your life.

I love this picture of us, this captures the true us, laughing and having a good time. This was us at a sloshball game. I worried about posting a picture of him but since he is in a hat and glasses I figured he isn’t that recognizable lol

Another chapter "Dating the friend"

Dating THE Friend

my age: sometime in my adult life lol

his age: sometime in his adult life lol

where: Chandler, Arizona

People often think dating friends are a good idea however in hindsight it is not such a good idea because in the end you lose your lover and your friend.

This guy and I had a brief stint at trying to date versus being friends. We had known each other awhile and had one of those days of hanging out where it just seemed more comfortable than usual, and one thing led to another and we attempted to advance our relationship to more than friends. We had one of those stay up all night talks and it was awesome.

I do a lot of journaling as well as my blogging, here is a brief excerpt of what I journaled in regards to the demise of my relationship with him:

I miss you, I miss coming home from work and knowing that your going to be there for me to chat with. I miss texting silly random things through out the day, and I miss getting pictures from you about random things you see throughout your day.

We may not have had a long relationship “situation” but what we had was good. What I don’t understand is what changed your mind… I keep racking my brain to when the change in you began and the only thing I can think of is when I asked you if I could go out on dates with other people. I didn’t know where we were at the time and though I thought I’d be honest and let you know I had been asked out, I now realized that, that was the one time that honestly clearly was not the best policy.

We had a lot of fun times together, and we got along well… You mentioned that it was your insecurity that changed things, what do you have to be insecure about?

You told me more then once that we were on the same page, so when did you turn the page?

So it was a brief thing lasting no more then a month however it was good while it lasted, I can’t say that it ended bad either, we just decided one night over sushi that it wasn’t going anywhere (not from my lack of trying) so we said heck let’s just end it while we’re ahead. Of COURSE we vowed we’d remain friends however things definitely didn’t end that way. It became awkward because I still had some pretty strong feelings for him and I think he knew it, so it was odd to try to be in contact with him. Maybe through time the weirdness will lesson, and we will regain that closeness that we once had.

So lesson learned from this guy: Don’t try to date your friends, because in the end you end up empty handed and hurt.

The Marine

(Another "chapter" of my book)

The Marine

my age at the time: 15-17 & 18-19

his age at the time: 18-20 & 21-22

where: Chandler, Az

Ahhhh the Marine, My one true love, The one who “got away” or I should say the one I “cut loose” The Marine and I met standing outside of a friends house and he was walking by with friends, he lived a few houses away. We hit it off instantly. We met in May and he was leaving for boot camp that September, he was my first true love. It was a whirlwind romance and a wonderful summer. That summer consisted of lazy days at the pool, laying around watching Top Gun (our favorite movie), listening to Chicago and taking drives side by side in his old Ford.

The song by Brian Adams “ Summer of 69” completely takes me back to that summer.

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

We were so in love and we spent every single day together. He left for boot camp and I wrote him every single day. Not a day passed that I wasn’t heart broken that he was gone. His step mother turned into a crazy pants and became incessantly jealous of our relationship. That was my first taste of the dreaded “mother of a son” syndrome, taking her baby away from her!

After boot camp he would come home every possible weekend he got leave. I also went there to visit him, now looking back I’m not sure how I was able to go there, considering I had the strictest parents around, however they seemed to always bend the rules for me.

Once I turned 17 I broke up with him to date someone that I went to high school with because I felt like I was missing out on something. The Marine was amazing and said to me “I love you, and so I will let you go date other people, but I will not date anyone because I will not be being true to my heart” He was going to wait for me. We remained very close friends for that year, and we started dating again once I turned 18.

That summer we rekindled our love and had another amazing summer. While in the Marines he was stationed in Japan, times got tough between us but we made it work, we were so young and so “in love”. He came home for leave from Japan and we were watching Top Gun on the couch and he turned to me and said “Do you want to get married” I was so excited! The next day we went to the jeweler and I got to design my “dream ring” About a week later he officially proposed to me with the ring of my dreams. I was in heaven with the man of my dreams. He returned to Japan, and I was left alone to begin making wedding plans.

It was at that time that I went to Kansas City, Missouri on a VICA conference and I met 2 people that changed my life, “Mr. National President” and “The DJ”. The DJ and I became fast friends and soon best friends, he became my sounding board when things began to get rocky. The Marine began to live a wild lifestyle while stationed in Japan, and I was beginning to have my doubts.

He returned to the States in February, we had planned to get married the following October 11th. His mother and I greeted him at the airport gate, I hadn’t seen him in almost a year! I was so utterly excited to have him home because I thought that would fix my doubts. When he got off the plane, he hugged his mother first, NOT his fiancé! I was so hurt. Once in the car on the drive back home he sat up front with his mom, not in the backseat with me as he had before. We had a huge dinner planned that night for him at his house, there was at least 20 people there. At the end of dinner as people began to clear the plates, he said “put those down, Brittney will do it, it’s her job” Yes, you read that correctly, he stated it was my job. I knew he had been in a foreign country but did he honestly think I was going to be submissive here? Well because I didn’t want to cause a scene, I cleaned the kitchen. Shortly after I escaped to the bedroom to call The DJ, he told me to stand up for myself and leave, of course I didn’t. A few more similar episodes like that transpired, until finally The DJ convinced me to leave one day. I returned home to my parents, discussed things with them and called The Marine and told him it was over. He tried for a while to get me back but at that time I had turned to The DJ and was beginning to fall for him.

The next year, The Marine was in Vegas on vacation, he met a stripper got her pregnant, got married and became a grandfather all in a matter of months, yes I said grandfather, the woman was SEVERAL years older then him.

I ran into him while I was visiting someone in Flagstaff a few years later, and it was the MOST uncomfortable situation, I had heard he was miserable with this woman, that she forbid him contact with friends and family. Well he certainly didn’t act like a happily married man. It broke my heart a little bit to see his life turn out that way.

I can’t tell you how many times I have thought “what if” I probably would have had my ranch home with my 6 babies, who knows how happy I would have truly been.

However, I will always think of him as my true love, and the one I cut loose.

Dating……"The Detroit Drunk"

Some of you may know I have always joked about writing a book about my past relationships because they were very informative and some even comical. I figured that I would title each chapter with the name or the pseudonym of the individual.. Well I was thinking today that I could begin to blog about them instead… Hmmmm now which one to pick, it’s a tough call, but I guess the first one that pops into my mind is the Detroit drunk!

Detroit Drunk

my age at the time: 29-30

his age at the time: 29-30

where: Chandler, Az

The Detroit drunk and I met on eHarmony, we were match several months prior to actually meeting in person, he worked as a paramedic and I at the hospital, so it was tough to coordinate schedules, and it was a busy time for me traveling. We emailed for months and finally agreed to meet in person. He picked me up at my house which is a first for me because usually I don’t allow people to know where I live, but I dug him and he seemed harmless. We went to Jerseys for our first date… Hmmm do you think at that moment it would have hit me, hey he took me to a bar on our first date? It was fun though, it was back in the day when you could smoke inside bars, so we smoked and drank and had a good time. In talking we learned that his room mate is friends and co workers with someone I had known for about 7 years, later in the evening we went to his house and watched Top Gun, he then drove me home. I remember that he called me morning noon and night to chit chat or hang out.. I wasn’t in any rush to begin dating so I held him at bay for awhile.. I lesson now I need to follow because it seems to work so much better then being available all the time for the guy. Fast forward a month and we were officially dating. We dated 11 months total, it was 3 months of good and 8 months of bad. I had a few good experiences with him, sometimes he seemed to really be sweet and care about me, but what I learned about him was he was leading a double life, he was saying and doing one thing on the surface and doing another behind closed doors. He has an excessive drinking problem, and an addiction to sex, i.e. pornography, chat rooms, web cams etc. It is sad a disappointing to think of how someone can completely trick you into believing he is someone he isn’t. I also spent the worst 10 days of my life in Michigan with this guy, meeting his family because he and I had spoken of a long term future together… Whew, I dodged a bullet with that one……

What I can say I learned through this is situation is you have to follow your gut instinct, you have to do what your intuition is telling you. I believed that because I was in love that meant I needed to forgive his infidelity, what that really told him is “wow this girl loves me so much she will forgive my cheating, so hmm I might as well keep doing it.” WRONG, just because your a Christian and in love with someone doesn’t mean you are obligated to forgiveness. Did I love this person, yes I did, I loved him with all that I was, however his infidelity diminished any love that I had felt for him.