But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-14

As the 1 year anniversary of my breakup draws closer and closer I continue to have multiple dreams of him each night. Ironically they start out all glorious and are of fond memories, but they quickly come to a halt with something bad... Perhaps I didn't do my grief work at the end of that relationship, or perhaps this is just part of the grief process...



Today is the first day of Lent.

"If a ruler's anger rises against you, do not leave your post; calmness can lay great errors to rest." Ecclesiastes 10: 4

It was wonderful to be back to work yesterday and to see familiar faces again. I can't wait to get back to patient care though, I miss that the most! While at work I found out that people were saying things about me that weren't true at work. It makes me sad to think people who I thought were my friends would say things that are not true. I know that there are lots of cliques at work and often when you work with all women there is a lot of cattiness however I am a bit surprised by what had transpired. I thought better of those I worked with then to make up stories to make themselves look better. In the past I know we have all been a part of the rumor mill however I have long since removed myself from that and realized we are all there for the common goal, the well being of the patient. We need to foster an environment of safety for our peers, so that they feel SAFE asking for help or asking questions if the are uncertain. We hold a lot of power as an LD nurse, we need to be able to depend on those we work with so that we have good outcomes.


This is from an article I read once about women in the workplace....

We ask women in the workplace to explore, strengthen, and embrace their own self-worth, and never be tempted to destroy another’s. To recognize the power of measured words, remembering that once you say something harmful, you can never take it back. To champion those who do not have a voice and not engage in malicious gossip. To channel positive energies into self-improvement for professional and personal growth. To share acquired experience with those who need a guiding hand. To examine how you can best support your female colleagues in the workplace. To respect other women and see the value of their lives and the friends they might become. To put into perspective the hectic pace of the world we live in and find a balance that allows you to be thankful for what you have. To maintain a dignity by keeping your personal life out of the office.

Diet update

I am 30 days into the diet, I took 12 days off for surgery and recovery but 30 days total on, and down 22 pounds so far. Here are before and after pictures so far.


January 09



February 09

Hmmmmm

Have you ever had something you ReAlLy wanted to say but just couldn't?!?!?

Hmmmm hopefully soon I'll be able to say what I want to.... Until then I will stay silent and not blog....

Anyhow, Happy Valentine's Day!

Emma Baffert

The kids and Emma Baffert

I should be sleeping, I've been up since 4am and have to get up at 5am tomorrow ugh...

This month makes 1 year since I have been single.. 1 year ago I walked out of probably one of the worst relationships I have ever been involved in. I have blogged numerous times in the past about mourning my past relationship and in December I came to terms with the fact that the relationship wasn't true, he wasn't who I thought he was, so I really wasn't sure what I was mourning.. Does that make sense?

Sorta like how can you miss something that you didn't ever know?

What I get a kick out of now is his numerous attempts to contact me now that I have fallen ill and had surgery etc. We have a few mutual acquaintances still and so he hears about things through the grapvine but never in detail because those people I know not to divulge too much info too. Anyhow, it was my New Year's resolution to stop responding to him and so far so good I haven't responding to single text or email, even when it was for a simple recipe of mine he wanted lol...

Anyhow, this is a big big month for me. Lots of things going on with these tests, the hand surgery and the year coming to a close. I look forward to it finally coming to the year mark, because I can finally stop referencing things i.e. last year for the super bowl we did this, last Christmas we did that.... etc...

I'm glad February is a short month because it means it won't last that long... Ugh... "It's just one of those days" for the past few days lol... No worries though, I'll be just fine......