As many of you know, I work as one of the bereavement counselors at work. Over the course of my 3 years I have met amazing people. I have spent time with couples who had the strength of a million men. I have spent time with couples who felt like they had no air left to breathe. I have mourned the loss of their babies with them.
These couples then leave the hospital and go on to grieve for their babies. We talk on occasion, we get together again for them to pick up their pictures, and again we part ways. There are occasional phone calls or emails, a card mailed here and there to check up on their grief, to make sure they are taking deep breathes, and speaking their babies names…..
Tonight at work there was a candle lighting ceremony for all the babies who have died . The turn out was over whelming, but also unfortunate. It’s unfortunate that we have that many families yearning to hold their babies again some day. Their strength again, amazes me as I listen to them talk about their sweet babies.
As I looked around the room, I saw so many couples who I cared for. I looked at those tear stained faces, and I wanted to scream and cry for these couples. Their pain, their loss is unspeakable. These people who were once strangers to me, my heart now aches for them….
Yet hearing them talk about their treasured pictures and mementos, seeing them moving forward in their grief, it does wonders for me. These precious precious patients and their babies don’t realize how healing they actually are for me. You see as we care for these patients, their loss becomes our loss, their grief becomes our grief. A patient recently said, I don’t know how you do this so often, and I told her, as soon as I walk out of those doors at the end of the night, my heart aches, my tears flow.
So seeing these couples strong, seeing them whether the storm. They give me the strength to come back the next day and take another couple. Many of these couples lives have intertwined with mine now, we have formed great friendships, they have subsequent pregnancies, they have other babies that I get to spend time with.
The other day as I prayed with a couple who’s baby had just died. The grandmother spoke to me, and told me “what you do is more then just your job, this is your ministry.” I will hold onto that for a lifetime, because it was what I needed to hear at the time to continue on for these families and their babies.
For those who weren't there tonight, I want you to know that your sweet babies were in my heart and in my prayers.
Below is a song that was played tonight at the ceremony….. Before you play it, be sure to scroll down and pause my music player.
Fly
Celine Dion
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
