73, 32, 38

I moved here 73 days ago.... We are getting married in 32 days..... We are moving to Arizona in 38 days...

I really like Oklahoma (the state), it's really grown on me, I've met some very nice people at work and I really enjoy the routine that Oklahoma and I have fallen in to. We seems to glide seamlessly as if we were meant to spend our lives together... I love this man more then anything, and I as his future bride I support him in his decisions...

One day I was doing my hair and he was outside with the kids, he came into the bathroom and said, we are leaving, I'm done here... I thought it was the heat of the moment because the ex was up to her antics.... A few days pass and he brought it up again... I kept quite and didn't push the issue just supported his concerns and complaints of being here...

I come from a very close family, they are my support and I couldn't imagine having siblings turn on me the way I have experienced some of the family here doing.. We owe no one any explanations, however when people create a toxic environment for others, the best thing is to remove yourself from it.

So through a lot, and I mean A LOT of prayer things started to fall into place.. I applied for a job with my former hospital system, and I was offered a job at one of their brand new facilities that has yet to open.

After the wedding, we will return to Oklahoma and pack up and make the move back to Arizona......

Another new adventure for us to embark on... ;)

Fall

I haven't blogged in a long time.. Probably beacuse we've been having so much fun in Oklahoma... Yes, really I just said that.... Things have been great here, I L-O-V-E the fall weather... This weekend was fabulous, it was just Oklahoma and I all weekend long, we went to his old high schools football game and it was cold, and we wore sweaters!! We spent a lazy day on the couch on Saturday BBQ'n and watching college football all day long!!! On Sunday we did chores around the house and more football, and yesterday we spent the afteronoon with his mom and stepdad shopping and lunch. Then in the afternoon we finished all of our halloween decorating the front of the house and the inside looks so cute!!! We had such a great time with each other, it was really nice!!

We drove my car from Arizona out here a few weeks ago... I will post those pictures soon.....

I just wanted to update and let everyone know life is going great in Oklahoma!!!

Be careful what you wish for!!

I used to live and die by my calendar!! My life was planned out to the minute. I had morning appointments, lunch dates, shopping trips, movie dates, pottery dates, dinner outings, cocktail outings, coffee shop talks, heck I even have a friend I'd go eat pancakes with at 2AM!!! (Disclaimer: when I use the word "date" I don't mean the traditional "date" I mean meeting etc)


I liked that life, I liked being on the go and having friends and having people to meet up with and discuss a good book, or someone to drive around with in the middle of the night without a destination in mind.... I LOVED being able to drop by my moms or sisters house, go see my sister at work, go spend time volunteering at the Boys & Girls club, crafting, I had an ENTIRE craft room that I could make crafts in... Oh, did I mention I had a gym membership there, I could go run in the middle of the day if I wanted....


Today is Thursday, everyday this week (and the week before and before), when I have gotten home from work there is nothing to do, I think I have a special butt imprint on the couch because ALL I have done is sit around and watched TV. I get excited when it's time to get up and make dinner. Well, that took 1 hour now it's back to the couch. I have 3 books I'm in the middle of reading, I've taken up farmville as if it was a full time job!!!! Right now it's 4 in the afternoon and there is nothing to do in this small town!!! I wish my fiancé would wake up so we could go for a drive, sight see, go to the lake, see a movie, go to a coffee shop and read and have coffee, heck I'd even settle for wandering around the local Walmart!!


I used to enjoy coming out here to visit because we'd do a lot of nothing... However that was because I was always on the go in th city so it was nice to come here to relax... Well now relaxing full time is making me have cabin fever!!!


Next week I am working 3 days in a row then leaving for Phoenix, I land in Phoenix my sisters are picking me up we are going for a dress fitting, then lunch then I am headed to California!! I can't wait to be back in the busy hustle and bustle of a fast pace life!!


I guess they always say be careful what you wish for......

So here I am 16 days in Ponca City, Oklahoma.... I've written this blog a few times in my mind... I wasn't sure which way I was going to write this update... At first I didn't want to write anything negative, because I didn't want people to start to think I made a mistake... Then I decided this is the story of me, and someday we'll look back on this and reflect that yeah it was hard but we survived it!!


I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't cried several times being here. The first week was really hard, it was hard because Oklahoma had to work everyday that I was here sitting in this house alone. It made me miss my home, it made me miss my dog, it made me miss my sisters something awful. The first week, I did a lot of sleeping and laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I'd get up around 4, shower get all ready and prepare him dinner so he wouldn't know I was sulking all day. Finally one day I had to confess to him, I was slipping into a depression being here. I needed to get out and meet people, work, and get established.



You see, in Arizona I was somebody.... I was an independent woman, who had a FABULOUS home, a great career where I really built a name for myself, and a family that I saw daily! I had none of that here, and I was beginning to think I made a mistake.



Oklahoma and I decided I should start work earlier then I had planned, because that would help me feel like I  had some purpose here. I started orientation at South Central Kansas Regional Medical Center in Arkansas City, Kansas. It's an itty bitty hospital that I am working at PRN (as needed) just for supplemental income. I had a great day at hospital orientation and then I went and picked up my soon to be step-kids, it was our week to have them. We had a great time we went and played at Burger Kings play land, and we did some arts and crafts that afternoon. Having the kids around made a big difference in my mood. I introduced Oklahoma and kids to my favorite place in the world, the library!! The library in Ponca City is really neat, it's the kind you see in movies, where we walk up steps and there is a big old oak door!! We picked out movies and books to keep us entertained for the weekend.



Things were definitely starting to look up for me!! Then one night I just had a complete break down and decided I wanted to be in Arizona. Oklahoma sat there and listened to me go on and on for 2 hours of crying and talking about why I missed Arizona so much. He was real real quite and then he said "give me 6 months, and we'll move back there"  That was all I needed him to say, and I felt a million times better, not because I was going to actually move back home, but because he'd be willing to go where ever I needed to be to be happy!! Things really started to look up since then! 



I started my orientation on the floor and had a delivery right away, it was funny because I was supposed to just be there observing, but they got busy (2 patients) and I just had to jump in and take control and deliver the patient, and that was all I needed. I felt complete again, I didn't feel lost or empty anymore! I think Oklahoma really noticed the difference in me as well! 


Things have been great ever since, I'm happy again, I'm not moping around the house depressed anymore!! I start orientation tomorrow morning at my full time job. I can't wait until I am working 3-4 days a week and able to be here to take care of my Oklahoma!  

Time changes

I just returned home from another trip to Oklahoma… It’s 2 hours ahead there…. So really my body believes it’s 0330 and it’s really only 0130 in Arizona… I should be sleeping but my mind is swimming with thoughts of the trip…

I thought I’d be excited to be home, to sleep in my bed to see my pup Bella, but the truth is as I got ready for bed tonight, I was sad that I wasn’t snuggling up to my Oklahoma, I was sad that a sweet childs face won’t be waking me up to make them breakfast, I was sad that I won’t be getting loved on by kids all day tomorrow….

In my wildest dreams I would have never guessed that I could love stepchildren like this, or the family Oklahoma and I now share….

It’s much much harder walking away from kids at the airport than it ever has been walking away from Oklahoma… What a crummy feeling of disappointment!!

This week we had the kids for the entire length of my trip. Oklahoma has a 10 year old girl, 9 year old girl and 4 year old boy!

This week I was a maid, chef, beautician, encyclopedia, shopper, nurse, planner, book reader, teacher, entertainer, waitress, laundry sorter, I could keep going, but what it really comes down to is  MOM…..

I have an amazing appreciation for my mom, how she managed to stay home with us and keep us entertained in the summer all 4 of us girls is beyond me. I’ve always adored my mom but now that I was “mom” for a week, wow what a full time job it is!! And yes, there were plenty of times I just wanted 5 minutes of quite time, I still loved every single moment of it…

It clicked with me, no wonder I love being a nurse, I’m a natural care take and nurturer at heart. I’ve just been doing this nursing thing to satisfy my need and want of a family…

I used to be so career oriented and driven, I gained my self worth from my career and after a  week with the kids, I have a new focus. I can’t wait to spend my life being a wife and a mother!!

I love you Oklahoma, and the kids so very much, thanks for a  great week!!

A few days later……

A few days later, I would wake up in my bed and would lie there those first few moments of waking up and then it’d dawn on me, holy heck there is something on my hand…. I’m engaged to be married, Oklahoma proposed to me……

There are still moments I’ll be shopping, or washing my hands, or glance in the mirror and I see this beautiful ring on my hand and thing oh my gosh!!! I’m engaged to Oklahoma!!!!!

It’s so hard being away from him…. It’s hard to really think we’ve lived the past 13 years a part, why is it so complex to do so now???

I just returned from another trip to Oklahoma.. I was there for for a week this time… It was a great trip, I feel like I got a lot accomplished in the house… You see Oklahoma has been a bachelor for awhile, so the house needed a woman to get in there and clean and square things up… I only got a teeny tiny portion of the kitchen complete, but once I did, oh did I feel good, and I felt at home while I was in there cooking… It’s amazing how the addition of a few things to the kitchen can make me feel like it’s my kitchen now….

We had an incredible week, it was filled with job interviews for me, and him having to work… I bet your thinking what’s incredible about that… Well, we had to live “real life” for the week.. It wasn’t the usual vacation period that our visits have been… He went to work, and I was home to clean and cook and take care of errands…. I loved every-single-second of it…. It is very very rewarding taking care of a home, and taking care of my Oklahoma at the end of the day….

Monday, Tuesday and everyday there after without him…..

Monday we spent the day with my family, we swam and cooked out and played Pictionary, it was a lot of fun… Oklahoma fit in well with the chaos of the family, it was nice!

0330 in the morning came on so very early… It was time to wake up and take my Oklahoma to the airport… It was a quite morning, not many words were spoken… Which now in hindsight I notice a trend…. Neither of us talk much on that dreaded ride to the airport……..

It was dark and I drove with a heavy heart…. We spent a little bit of time sitting at the airport, and then it was time to send him on his way…..

I walked begrudgingly back to the car and all I could think about was those Fergie lyrics from the song Big Girls Don’t Cry

“The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity”

I got back into the car, and the smell of him, the smell of his cologne and wintergreen chew lingered in the car…..

Sometimes this is harder then I think either of us bargained for…….. In the end it is all worth it and we both know it……

Sunday 05/30

Sunday was the first day we had to ourselves, we had nothing planned until that evening, it was heavenly to just be able to lounge around the house. We woke up that morning and I made Oklahoma some coffee and he sat outside for a bit and enjoyed the morning and watered my grass, I did a few things around the house. It was like we had settled into a routine already, it was really nice just being able to do our own things and yet still be in each others presence.. Eventually we showered and got ready for the day and managed to find our way to the couch to watch tv and nap.

That evening we went to my friends house for dinner and dominoes! I have a friend who I have known since high school, well I went to her house a few weeks ago to tell her about Oklahoma, well as it turns out her husband grew up about 20 miles from where Oklahoma lives. So we decided to get together while he was here. We had a great time, for starters she is an amazing cook, and made homemade pesto pizza which was delicious (she always prepares me wonderful vegetarian dishes) Oklahoma made the dessert for us, he made a pizza cookie, which was so yummy!!! We played dominoes and had a nice night!!

Besides the engagement on Saturday, Sunday was one of the best days while he was here, because we were able to spend the day with just each other.... I love my Oklahoma so very much!!

Saturday 05/29

Saturday we drove around sight seeing my work, Old Town Scottsdale etc.. We met my bestie and her family at Green New American Vegetarian Restuarant! I absolutely LOVE this restuarant, I could eat there for every meal!! We sat around and visited and ate our faux meat! I'm sure it was quite the experience for this beef fed boy from Oklahoma, but the fact that he was even open to it was great, he is very supportive of my lifestyle choices!!

We came home and watched Shrek and napped off and on. It was finally time to get ready for our company for the night. I had invited over my sisters and their husbands/bfs and a few other close friends over to watch the Suns game, meet Oklahoma and play games.

We were in my room finishing getting ready, and he was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I was just chatting away and moving around the room, and somehow I ended up sitting on the side of the bed with him, and I was still talking to him and started to kiss him and he sorta moved me back away from him, and he turned to face me. When I looked down, he had a box in his hand. Well of course it dawned on me what he was about to do, so it made me start to cry, in which he said no, no, you can't cry hold on, and he opened the box and took the ring out, and everything was such a blur (Literally because I was trying not to cry) and he held my hands and he was shaking like a leaf and he was so sweaty!! IT was so sweet, and he said "Brittney will you marry me?" I said "Yes, and I will love you for the rest of my life" And he slipped the ring on my finger..... It was the most amazing moment of my life!!

So then we text/called friends, family, parents etc. Everyone was so excited for us!! Shortly there after our friends arrived and we had dinner and watched the Suns game and we played, pool and fooseball and hung out. It was a great night, I was so excited and so glad he picked that moment to propose to me becuase it was a great way to celebrate with my closest friends and family there.

This is our first picture taken as an engaged couple :) WOW, I still look down at my hand and get goosebumps when I realize that I am going to be Mrs.Oklahoma soon!!! I adore this man so very much, he is simply amazing!!

Friday 05/28

Friday morning we had to wake up to our alarm because we I had made plans to go tubing down the salt river with Oklahoma and my friends here. YIKES it was early, but we managed to pull ourselves together and get to the meeting point.

Here is Oklahoma waiting for another couple so we could carpool to the meeting spot. I'm sure he's going to be really excited that I'm posting all these random pictures of him :)

We had a really fun time on the river, we went with some fun friends and enjoyed the Arizona scenery. We went back to the house and took showers and napped until it was time to go face my parents... I kept giving Oklahoma "pretend questions" that my dad might ask. Now anyone who knows my father knows he is a man of very few words, so I knew good and well he wasn't going to ask anything deep or personal, at least not on the first meeting that just isn't his style, my father is the man that stands in the back and digests it  all in.

If you read any of my other posts you also know that dinners at my parents house are always big productions, rarely to we eat quick, we usually all sit around the big dining room table and eat and talk for a long time.

Well in true Elias fashion that is exactly what we did, we sat around the big table talking and talking. It was very comfortable there, he fit in nicely, and didn't seem overwhelmed by the Elias girls... Trust me we can be a little intimidating when you get us all together! After dinner we were haning out and my mom, Oklahoma and I went to sit outside for a bit. My mom is a straight shooter, she had no trouble asking questions point blank. Oklahoma had no trouble answering her... "I love your daughter very much, and I believe she is the one" he told my mom..... I could have cried my eyes out right there! It is one thing for him to say it to me, but another thing to hear him tell my mom! Needless to say the meeting of the family went well, very well!

This was taken that night at my parents, and that is Emma Baffert in the corner :)

Our lazy Thursday together

(so because I have a bad memory, someday I’ll turn my blog into a scrapbook for my kids to read, so yes, I am going to blog day by day what we did)

We grabbed lunch and went home to finally go to sleep… We both hadn’t slept in a few days by this point…….. We slept well past 5pm!!! We decided to go to my parents house so they could meet him real quick and then to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to meet Danielle… Oklahoma insisted on shaving before going to meet my parents…. He also looked so cute in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops! It was his Arizona outfit…  

The first meeting of my parents and my youngest sister went well… We were off to meet Danielle at the Cheesecake Factory. It went well we talked a lot and ate, we were starved by that point…. We finally took one of our first pictures together!!

 

Oklahoma comes to Arizona

On May 26th, I got off work that morning and raced home to jump in bed I was soooooooooo tired… By 11am I was wide awake, wide awake like I drank an ocean of coffee wide awake.. Apparently the anticipation of Oklahoma arriving was playing with my emotions more than I realized….

I finished the last minute details of house cleaning I needed to get done and was off to work… OHHHHH gosh, by the time my shift started I was hurting.. I felt like I was hit by a truck, probably that same truck that dropped off that ocean of coffee that made me so wide awake earlier in the day… THANK GOODNESS the census was low and I have some great coworkers that were working to get me out of there… I was able to leave work by 9pm, instead of 6am!!

Off to Walmart I went, who knows what for but I am SURE I needed something important before he came… Remember that trip to Target I took the night before leaving for Oklahoma? (Read that post here) Yup it pretty much was the same scenario, I was walking the store aimlessly…. Thank goodness, good old Oklahoma knows me well enough to give me a call when I don’t respond after awhile, he was able to talk me through my crazy excitement.

You see, Oklahoma had to work that night too.. He was working until 3am when he was going to leave for the airport… Well after several conversations back and forth and the anticipation, he left work at 2am instead… Midnight Arizona time, meanwhile I was still cleaning, ironing, dusting, DOING-IDIODIC-THINGS-TO-KEEP-BUSY preparing the house for my love….

So we talked all the way to Wichita, he finally made it there by 4am and he was going to sleep in the car for a bit…. At that point I was going to try to nap for the hour too….

We were liked crazed school kids, we didn’t sleep very much at all, and ended up calling each other before our alarms had gone off!

After 123810921 explanations of what he needed to do when he got inside the airport, he finally was ready to do it.. He was going inside to check into his flight… It was precious his level of concern for doing all that it entails to travel these days…

Before long he was off to Dallas…. An hour later, I got my next call, he was in Dallas safe and sound… About 2 hours later I was pacing the terminal in Phoenix, like a lunatic waiting for him to arrive… I was just as nervous as when I flew out there….

No words can describe how right he makes my world when I am with him….. At last there he was, my gorgeous, Oklahoma….. It was time to begin our 6 days together….

This song reminds me of Oklahoma!!!

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water acrosst he deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard


I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Numbers

 

More days until my Oklahoma is in Arizona with me…. I can’t wait for him to be here!!

Crummy days ago we parted ways in a desolate Wichita airport. It was that moment that I think we both knew what we truly meant to each other.. 

 

Glorious days ago Oklahoma was sitting at work, well really as he tells the story he was relaxing at work with his feet up on the desk and thought to himself “I’m going to look for her one more time.” Meanwhile in Arizona I had just been to church and had been praying for God to give me a sign, to show me “the one”…… 50 days ago he found me… After countless searches over the years, there I finally was…..And here we finally are…..

May 22nd

Remembering my brother, Beau today...

A few pictures of Oklahoma (the state and the bf)

View Full Album

My "new" backyard

Here is a picture of Oklahomas backyard.... Looks heavenly doesn't it??  There is a huge area to the left of the tree in which he decided is where my garden will go. I can't wait to be able to grow healthy, organic vegetables for our home!! He also has a place for my compost, which he said he is going to start building.... I can't wait to see what Oklahoma comes up with.... After dinner one night we sat out on the deck enjoying the weather talking... Oklahoma (the state not him) is such a simpler way of life, I love it.....

Complicated

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" Mark Twain

Things can be complicated......... Sometimes I don't think people realize that when they don't tell the truth they are making things more complicated... Usually if your truthful it might hurt a little but at least it doesn't become complicated..... Sooner or later little falsities start coming out... Falsities, is that even a word? I don't know and I don't care....It's 0425 in the morning and I started thinking about things like the truth....

Why is it so few people value the truth anymore? Here's the thing, you start out believing and trusting people and then someone takes a little piece away from you here and there, so you trust a little less... Then someone you love lies, and a little bit more is lost, then someone you trust, someone who should never let you down, that person lies, it may be a white lie, and then that becomes the straw that breaks the camels back.... You no longer have trust anymore..

You second guess everything, every action, every statement, every feeling...... People underestimate the destruction of lies.... You could lie about something simple like hmmmmmm I don't know here is a good example: "I went to church today" well if you didn't really go to church then why lie about it? If you are capable of lying about little things, then what substantially large things are you capable of lying of?

Furthermore if you feel comfortable lying about little things to someone you love and care for then something is wrong..........

Lies destroy people, they have a domino effect, they are very destructive and they have long term effects....

4 days ago.......

4 days ago I said goodbye to Oklahoma!! 4 days ago we started another countdown 12 more days and Oklahoma makes his first visit to Arizona! He is going to fly into Sky Harbor (Yikes) Yes, I am a titch worried for him, because it will be a little overwhelming in our GiNoRmOuS airport for him. However I am sure he will do just fine.....

We have so much planned for his trip to Arizona because there are so many different people that need to meet him!! I'm so excited for my friends and family to meet him!

First on the agenda will be to get some pictures of us together so we can make everyone happy!! Ya hear that Oklahoma? We ARE going to take a picture together..... ;)  50 kisses to you sweets!! XOXO

My trip to OK

Monday was a nice day it was overcast and cool outside, we went for a drive around town site seeing…. It was really neat because I saw a bunch of different animals and the scenery is so green there it is just beautiful, being an AZ native things like rolling hills of green grass is something you only see on a golf course!



We were out at the lake and the loud siren that comes on the radio here in AZ that always says “This is a test of the emergency broadcast system” came over Oklahoma's radio… Except this wasn’t a test, this was a tornado warning, they used words such as “life threatening emergency” Holy smokes I think my eyes became huge saucers!!!!!!!!!! Well good old Oklahoma said “Oh honey don’t worry we’ll head to moms” (Gosh sometimes the things he says melts my hear just by him saying them with that precious little accent!!) So off to Newkirk we went in the event we needed to get into the storm shelter!!! Well that storm passed right around us and we were able to head back home to Ponca. That was our excitement for the day. We then headed to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. I made us dinner that night and then we sat around back for a bit enjoying the weather.


Tuesday we went to his moms work to spend some time with her and I met 2 more aunts. It was nice to sit around and visit with more of Oklahoma’s family. He has this beautiful blanket at his house that we snuggled in all week, and when were were at the Kaw City museum, he bought me one to have here in AZ! That blanket has since become my little bit of Oklahoma that I have here with me, and it brings me comfort!!


We decided to head to Wichita and get some dinner before I left that night. We finally got into the airport and all checked in, we sat around a bit and then decided it was time to say our goodbyes.


Oh that was not good at all, I think we both tried our best to just be strong but saying goodbye was horrible, dreadful, lousy, awful, hideous, terrible, cruel, Heartbreaking…… I walked through that security line and just felt awful… I had some time until my plane took off so I went and sat in the bar and stared out that window and just cried. I am not kidding you I cried that entire flight to Denver! I think the folks on the plane thought I was nuts, the flight attendant brought me napkins LOL. I literally felt the heartache of leaving my love behind.


I have never-felt-like-this-before….

Oklahoma

28 days seemed like an eternity and then before I knew it, it was 1 day away. I found myself completely out of sorts. I went to work and God love my coworkers because they were able to keep me squared away for 4 hours. Luckily I had someone cover the rest of my shift so I could go to my parents for dinner and home to pack. The plan was to be home and in bed by 8pm... Well hmmm sometimes plans don't turn out the way I want them too... Of course I had a great dinner with my family and of course I got the "talk" from my dad.......

Then I left and went to Target, because I needed a phone charger to take with me. Oh geez bad idea.... Before long I was pacing the isles of Target and sweating, literally sweating buckets and my mouth became dry and I couldn't talk or text LOL Oklahoma text me and I just ignored it because I didn't want to talk to anyone... In hindsight that was a bad idea, I should have called the bestie so she could talk me out of there LOL

So Oklahoma finally called me on my way home and he set my mind at ease, well at least for the time being.... I was home by about 930 and began packing.... I was in bed by 11 and was anxiously awaiting the alarm to go off at 0230!!!

The second that alarm went off I literally jumped out of bed and was ready to get in the shower!! I woke up with a complete sense of peace, I didn't have a single concern or worry about going. Once at the airport I was on the plane waiting to take off.... The strangest thing happened, I literally sat there and every single moment that had transpired the previous 28 days flashed through my mind.  Every phone conversation, every text, every facebook message..... Then suddenly I was just ready to be there with hm. I arrived in Denver and he called me, we chatted for a bit and then I was on the plane again headed to Wichita...

Holy smokes flat land! What the heck! Luckily the man next to me was able to explain to me about their flat lands and their farms etc. But wow.... So I get off the plane at this tiny itty bitty airport....... The man who sat next to me walked me all the way to baggage, (Ummmm like I was going to get lost in that tiny airport?) That's when I saw him........

Oklahoma was there.... Ahhhh just like I remembered my sweet boy... So we greeted each other with a hug hello and I met his mom. It felt surreal to be there and to be able to actually touch him, to feel him.....

That first day in OK with him was good, I got the grand tour of Newkirk and Ponca City!!! We went up to the Walmart and bought a few things and then came home and I cooked us dinner, his sister came over that night and we all just hung out for a bit.

Saturday morning I woke up and went on my run, It is so beautiful here, nothing at all like I expected!! It is so green and so many trees!! It was a great run, the weather was nice and cool. Later we went to a store that had an ENTIRE natural food section.. I was in heaven, they even had organic produce! Yup, totally the things that get me excited! That night we cooked out at his sisters house and then we went to the figure 8 car races. Wait until I post those pictures! But it was fun, something I have never done before, but fun! Oh yeah, and his 2 older kids were there so I got to meet them, and I think it was better that it was impromptu because I didn't have a chance to worry about the big meeting... They were nice to me so that was good.

Sunday (today) was a lazy day around the house, which was great!!! We just watched TV and spent time together. It stormed a titch, which was nice! Oh, and we went to Braum's and got ice cream and I took a few pictures of the city.

Ok, I'll post more when I have time, and I'll include pictures too..... 2 more days left here..........

Oklahoma……

Yup there is Oklahoma, it’s 1066 miles away from where I live….
I suppose it’s time to bring you up to speed about Oklahoma! So back to the Sunday of Easter, I received a FB friend request from Oklahoma. WOW I thought I haven’t seen him since September of  1997! Yes, I did just say 1997! I know that was a long time ago  over a decade ago! So I waited until Monday when I had time and we exchanged a few pleasantries via facebook email. He sent me his phone number and said “If I’m not on here later text me” I was getting ready to go meet a friend for dinner and so I though “hmmmm should I do this or not, because I know where this will go” I went about getting ready and then I decided to send the text.

“So you’ve looked for me before huh? Why?”

Yes I know weirdo, why was that my opening text? But he replies with “ I have never forgotten you.” Hook line and sinker… Well we continued to text throughout my ENTIRE dinner (I know totally rude, have I no manners) Before long we had text from 5pm until 10pm and it was time to get some sleep.

We picked up with the texting the next day and low and behold by afternoon my phone was ringing, he had called me! We talked for 2 hours! He called me later that night and we talked another hour and a half!! There was so much to say to this person I hadn’t seen in over a decade, there was so many funny stories he had to share, there were some phone calls that I felt could have lasted forever and I never would have gotten tired of him or the sound of his voice or the sweet little way he’d say “Well honey” with his precious Oklahoma accent.

By that Friday we decided we needed to see each other! Yes, I said by that Friday, 5 days later we knew we wanted to see each other in person and see where this was headed. By that evening it was official I was booked on a flight to Oklahoma…. There was only one problem…. It was not for 4 more weeks, we had to wait 28 days!

It’s been awhile…. a long while

Well I am not sure where to begin….. I started dating “The Banker” the end of January. He was a very very nice man. We had some great dates. The type of dates that you see on the bachelor! They would start out at a baseball game, then we’d drive to Scottsdale for lunch, then we drove to Tempe Town Lake for a movie, then we went to Old Town Scottsdale and had cocktails…. They were always fun like that. It was hard to read where things were going. He would hug me hello and goodbye but NEVER kissed me. In the early stages I thought that was fine however after awhile I began to wonder, are we just friends that are hanging out on the weekends?

I started to think he just had great morals and values and that he respected me and didn’t want to seem too pushy. Well there was only so much of that I could take!

So his birthday was approaching and if you know anything about the way us girls grew up, birthdays are a HUGE deal in our house, we typically celebrate “birthday week” So I made sure to send “The Banker” messages each day regarding his birthday week. So something along the lines of “this was the number one song in 1977, etc etc” He loved it. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday, April 3rd. I arrived at his home and gave him his gift. I went and picked up those lemon cookies from Paradise Bakery he had mentioned once in email that were his favorite, and I made him a birthday card book. Inside the book was interesting facts about his birthday, as well as 2 options to choose from for his birthday, we could go on the Apache Trail and drive to all the lakes and have lunch or we could go to Dave and Busters and watch the final 4, play games and see a movie. He picked the day trip, we had a nice time we had a great dinner afterwards and went to see a movie and then at the end of the date I got a HUG and I left.

That next morning I was sitting in church and I just laid it all out there before God. I needed a sign, I plead with God, to give me a sign, to lead me to the person I was supposed to be with. After church I went to work. When I was sitting at work my phone chimed, I had mail. An email had arrived from Oklahoma!

 

Week in review

I had the most intense vivid dream last night..... I didn't wake up remembering it though.. I had been awake a few hours and then I remembered it!! It was incredible though... Someone who I've really needed forgiveness from for about 8 years now, sat me down in my dream and we had a lengthy discussion and I was able to explain myself and then I was granted forgiveness. What a relief I felt when I recalled the dream.... I truly believe it was God at work. God knows our internal struggles, even if we don't verbalize them out loud. Now, I feel as though that something that had been holding me back has freed me.  I've been forgiven by that person, but more importantly I realized that God forgave me....

The past 2 weeks I have been eating better, I cut out all junk and eating primarily clean. I read the Skinny Bitch book, which I now carry with me in my handbag because It's my new food bible to live by LOL... However the past week in particular I have had no meat. I have in fact had limit animal products. I have had 3 pieces of cheese and 1 egg in the past week. WELL let me tell you I feel amazing!!!!


It is hard to introduce a new lifestyle to others because it comes with  a lot of questions!! I'm not a crazed PETA member, although I am now a PETA member because I can't stand the thought of the harm that is done to animals including fish!!! MORE importantly though, is the amount of antibiotics and pesticides that are pumped into these animals to keep them healthy enough to murder  for our meals. It really got me thinking about the illness we experience, so many of them are linked to the toxins we are pumping into our bodies!!


I have been reading the bible since Christmas, it's my goal to complete it this year. Anyhow, in the bible they kill their own meat for meals. In the bible, they rarely speak of illness, and most of them lived over 100 years!!! Perhaps there is a reason that people lived longer back then... Their meat wasn't exposed to pesticides and antibiotics.


I don't begrudge anyone who want's to eat meat, I do however challenge you to make smart choices to be aware where your meat is coming from and what your meat was fed!!

Outraged by this news story!

I watched this on the news last night and it really bothered me for a few reasons: Click the link below and read the story, then I will continue:

http://www.kpho.com/health/22468987/detail.html

This is a direct quote from the article:

Back in 1981, the company that made Glycol Ether, Union Carbide, issued a warning about possible miscarriages and birth defects. In 1982, the California Department of Health Services issued a Hazard Alert that said the chemical caused birth defects in test animals. Even the Semiconductor Industry Association issued a warning in 1982.

More warnings came out in 1987, 1989, and 1993. But experts tell us they believe the chemical was still used in the chip-making process well into the 1990s.

So this company knew that the chemical caused birth defects in animals and still allowed people of childbearing age to work there! It just blows my mind! I hope they have to pay out millions upon millions of dollars to these poor families!! The second thing that really chapped my hide was the animals! I am absolutely against testing on animals and this story is an example why!

These poor helpless animals were tested on, and had little baby animals with birth defects and what for? The humans didn't heed the warning!! So it was pointless!! JMJ (Jesus Mary & Joseph) Where is the logic in that?

I have been doing a lot of research on animal cruelty lately and it sickens me to see and hear what is done to animals. I seriously sit there staring at the screen in disbelief and disgust, and it makes me want to burst out crying because animals are treated so badly. With this being said, I haven't converted to becoming a strict vegan, however I have definitely changed the way I view animals. I won't eat real eggs anymore now that I see how the hens are treated in wire cages, and besides real eggs are bad for you. There are so many alternatives to eating meat that are healthy alternatives. I have however made the commitment to make some serious lifestyle changes based on what I saw on those links.

I encourage you to click on these links and see the reality of what is happening:

http://www.veganoutreach.org/whyvegan/behindthewalls.html

http://www.animalsuffering.com/animal-cruelty.php

http://www.meat.org/

Yup, I post pictures of my pets! Lame I know ;)

Here are the girls on Christmas, can you guess which dog was pouting and not happy? And then there is Ms. Emma Baffert, seriously is she posing in her dress with her hair bow? Of course, anything to show up Bella.

Again, here is Bella pouting on the top of the couch, it's no secret she is not a fan of Ms. Emma Baffert, she just can't keep up with her energy level LOL

Seriously, she is ridiculously cute, because she is a true blue Elias, she LOVES her sleep. Funny, though when I was a kid I used to HATE it when my mom would take her daily nap, even though it was about 20 minutes long, I still would get annoyed, like I wanted her there by my side LOL well, this little pup and her mama's (my sister) can and do sleep all day long sometimes! I just love my sleepy Bells!!

Obey and Trust

My resolutions for the New Year weren't really resolutions; they were lifestyle changes, lifestyle choices. So I have been praying on them for a while now. Well wouldn't you know that one day I was telling my mom "Come time of the wedding, I will have my mind made up and decide what I'm going to do about my career" Within a few days of praying on things, and asking God to guide me. I was pointed in the direction God intended for me. I just love that!

What I have been learning through my new bible study is that sometimes we are called to do things that are uncomfortable, unfamiliar or just plain awkward. Well guess what? Guess who is there to carry you the entire way? Yup, you guessed it! God

Here is a passage from my reflective piece of the bible. I can't get over how every time I do a reading it runs so parallel to my life.... Again, another one of those God moments. I tell you, he has me chuckling all day long now, as I see him ever so present in my life :)

Trust and obey- these two words go together like coffee and cream. Yet every day we face difficult situations that seem to defy simple solutions. As women, myriad difficult choices face us-the right course of care for a sick child, moving from everything familiar for a new opportunity, following God's leading even when the outcome is hazy, even when the right choice frightens us. You may toss and turn for nights without finding peace in your choice. The right choice is often the hard choice, but not always. How do we determine the right choice? Obey the guidance you find in God's Word, earnestly pray and seek trusted counsel, then trust God with the outcome. Will you have it your way or God's way? First trust in God to have your best interest at heart, and then trust him to lead you to the right choice.

The wedding

Is getting closer and closer!!

This weekend the bridesmaids got together to finalize, shoes, hair,makeup and the bachelorette party. Then we did a crafting activity (because you know I love to craft) Well we decided that after the ceremony instead of us running around barefoot at the reception while dancing etc, we would ware flip flops. So each girl got to decorate their flip flops in their own way.. We had a lot of fun.

 

 

Grateful for 2009

I have so many things to be grateful for in 2009:

I have a home 
I have a job
My dearest friends survived a car accident that could have been fatal.
Gabe and Adriana can walk and breathe without assistance.
The baby wasn't in the car with them when the accident occurred.
I have built an amazing friendship this past year with Melissa.
Through a mothers grief  I have formed close friendships.
I have met amazing couples through work that I wouldn’t have ever met before.
A sweet baby was born and named after me in the wake  of them losing a baby last year.
My health has improved!
My brother in law didn’t get deployed.
My brother in law received orders that means my baby sister doesn’t have to leave the state!!
My baby sister got  engaged!
I took some wonderful vacations with my family, memories that will last forever.
I developed a deeper relationship with Christ.
I have transportation
Michelle's dad has beaten a poor cancer prognosis and is doing well
I got to see Dave Matthews 3 times in one year.
My sister opened her brand new million dollar Boys & Girls Club

I spent the entire year single and not wrapped in a toxic relationship
I have been smoke free for 6 months
I went back to the basics and stopped spending needless money
I learned how to save money
I developed a good attitude about life and don't allow things to get me down or have a woe is me attitude.
I became a childbirth instructor
I became an NRP instructor
I got a job PRN in Globe
My parents are healthy

My sisters are healthy

I got to go on a weekend get away with my older sister and we laughed so hard our sides hurt
I rekindled my friendship with Rebecca
I have been in touch with a lot of people from my youth via facebook
Not getting the flu this season
The drive to Globe, experiencing the leaves turning brilliant colors –the golds, russets, and browns.
That Christ is present in my life
That Christ gave his life for me
That God guides me through my work daily to help families in need

I've made some great friends
I started working out and eating healthy
My freedom
My sister was awarded the top 40 under 40 award
My father was awarded man of the year award
I got to go on a weekend get away with my older sister and we laughed so hard our sides hurt 


I could go on and on, but  Danielle and I are going to run errands and if she comes down the stairs and sees me still in my pajamas I’ll get scolded LOL……
I can’t wait for this year, my baby sister gets married in 10 weeks, another KRB will be born and it’s another girl!! Perhaps I will have a little niece or nephew this year. I will return to college, I will have a new career endeavor… Stay tuned… Great things to come……