So here I am 16 days in Ponca City, Oklahoma.... I've written this blog a few times in my mind... I wasn't sure which way I was going to write this update... At first I didn't want to write anything negative, because I didn't want people to start to think I made a mistake... Then I decided this is the story of me, and someday we'll look back on this and reflect that yeah it was hard but we survived it!!


I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't cried several times being here. The first week was really hard, it was hard because Oklahoma had to work everyday that I was here sitting in this house alone. It made me miss my home, it made me miss my dog, it made me miss my sisters something awful. The first week, I did a lot of sleeping and laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I'd get up around 4, shower get all ready and prepare him dinner so he wouldn't know I was sulking all day. Finally one day I had to confess to him, I was slipping into a depression being here. I needed to get out and meet people, work, and get established.



You see, in Arizona I was somebody.... I was an independent woman, who had a FABULOUS home, a great career where I really built a name for myself, and a family that I saw daily! I had none of that here, and I was beginning to think I made a mistake.



Oklahoma and I decided I should start work earlier then I had planned, because that would help me feel like I  had some purpose here. I started orientation at South Central Kansas Regional Medical Center in Arkansas City, Kansas. It's an itty bitty hospital that I am working at PRN (as needed) just for supplemental income. I had a great day at hospital orientation and then I went and picked up my soon to be step-kids, it was our week to have them. We had a great time we went and played at Burger Kings play land, and we did some arts and crafts that afternoon. Having the kids around made a big difference in my mood. I introduced Oklahoma and kids to my favorite place in the world, the library!! The library in Ponca City is really neat, it's the kind you see in movies, where we walk up steps and there is a big old oak door!! We picked out movies and books to keep us entertained for the weekend.



Things were definitely starting to look up for me!! Then one night I just had a complete break down and decided I wanted to be in Arizona. Oklahoma sat there and listened to me go on and on for 2 hours of crying and talking about why I missed Arizona so much. He was real real quite and then he said "give me 6 months, and we'll move back there"  That was all I needed him to say, and I felt a million times better, not because I was going to actually move back home, but because he'd be willing to go where ever I needed to be to be happy!! Things really started to look up since then! 



I started my orientation on the floor and had a delivery right away, it was funny because I was supposed to just be there observing, but they got busy (2 patients) and I just had to jump in and take control and deliver the patient, and that was all I needed. I felt complete again, I didn't feel lost or empty anymore! I think Oklahoma really noticed the difference in me as well! 


Things have been great ever since, I'm happy again, I'm not moping around the house depressed anymore!! I start orientation tomorrow morning at my full time job. I can't wait until I am working 3-4 days a week and able to be here to take care of my Oklahoma!