The Collyars

6 months old!!

2012-02-10T15:31:00.000-06:00

Look who is 6 months old already!! Where does the time go? In all my years of life I have never had time move so quickly!!! My little man weighs 16lbs 11oz he has just about tripled his birth weight. He loves to talk and blow raspberries!! He tries to sit up on his own, and when I put him in the walker he runs all over the house!!

He had his first taste of solid food 2 weeks ago, he loved it!! His favorites are carrots and sweet potatoes. He does not like apples!! He LOVES when I put a banana in a cheese cloth and freeze it a little bit, he sucks on that and gobbles it right up. He is just like his mama he loves his food!!!

I've learned so much...

2011-10-04T07:56:00.000-05:00

This entire pregnancy, labor and delivery and post partum period has taught me so very much as a person, mother and nurse.

I used to have patients come into triage and need medication because they were nauseated, yet they were eating or sitting up talking away or acting pleasant. Well with my hyperemesis I have learned that yes you can be nauseated and still be pleasant, after you live with it long enough you learn to tough it out and deal with it.
I learned that when someone says they are going to bottle feed because "they couldn't breast feed their first child... BELIEVE them...
People truly can have a "low supply"
Babys can have trouble latching even months after birth
No matter how bad a patient may WANT to breast feed it just may not be possible

(All this and only 2 months in, I'm sure I will learn soooo much more that will help me be a better nurse to my patients)

One more thing...

2011-10-04T07:50:00.000-05:00

I completely forgot something very important about my birth story!!!

Something I had feared while being pregnant was going into labor and having curly hair!! YUP of all the things to worry about geez!! Well on Sunday night I took my shower and went to bed with my hair in a wet bun! (side note Incidentally I woke up that morning and told my husband "I just had the best most restful night sleep of my entire pregnancy"...)

Well when my water broke my hair was curly... AHHHHHHH

So my sister Bethany came to triage with her straightener in hand and straightened my hair so I would have straight hair by delivery.

My mom had gone home and gotten my makeup bag and tweezers and I was able to shape my eyebrows and put a little make up on so I didn't look so wretched!!!

My Birth Story Part 2

2011-09-27T19:47:00.001-05:00

A cesarean section scheduled for 5pm!! It had been my life long dream to have an unmedicated vaginal birth.It had been my dream to have a wonderful pregnancy, enjoying the little kicks, hiccups, and indigestion that accompanied 40 weeks of pregnancy. Instead as you know I've had a very very hard pregnancy. It was nothing that I had ever imagined.

I once took a birthing class from a wonderful nurse that I worked with for years and she told a story of planning a trip to France, you research it, you plan for it for a year etc. When the plain lands they come on the loud speaker and say welcome to China. She would go on to say, it doesn't matter what you planned for essentially it's not what you planned but your still on vacation. (she told the story much more eloquently than that.

The point is, none of this is what I had planned for, but the end result was a healthy baby.

He was born at 5:17pm, he came out crying and breathing great. He was cleaned up by the NICU team and brought over to me to do skin to skin contact (that was very important to me) They then took him to the NICU to observe him. He was on room air the entire time. They started an IV for antibiotics since I was GBS unknown. He spent 2 nights in the NICU and was released to my room.

He spent 1 night with Cory and I and then was admitted to Kerr's Cottage to have billi lights. He then was discharged home with me on that Friday.

My birth story part 1

2011-09-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

On the morning of Monday, August 1, 2011 my water broke around 8am. I was shocked and out of sorts, I started barking commands at my parents, get me a towel, get me a maxi pad, get me sterile gloves... I called triage and talked to Kelly the charge nurse and she told me my Doctor was on for the day, what a relief!!

My little guy was breech so all I could think about was my baby having a prolapsed cord (the cord comes into the vagina and eventually cuts off life to the baby) Thank goodness my parents were so calm and understanding. Eventually my mom and I made it to the hospital where I waddled in with soaked towels between my legs. I started taking my clothes off immediately with the door wide open so I could be put on the monitor to check to make sure he was ok, I completely was out of sorts!!

Kelly put me on the monitor and the soothing sound of my sweet baby's heartbeat filled the triage room. From that point on I was calm and relaxed. Kim took over and got me triaged, My doctor ordered a "vaginal pooling" they took some of my water and tested it to see if his lungs were mature.If they were mature then we would deliver him that day, if not we would wait.

In the mean time Danielle and Bethany got there. I received a dose of betamethasone (a shot of steroids to mature his lungs) Contractions started as well. His little bum was sitting in my pelvis so with each contraction I was very uncomfortable with back pressure.

I was moved into a labor room to wait. My older sister Mindy showed up by then. She had stopped and picked me up a toothbrush, deodorant, and some preemie clothes. I hadn't packed a bag yet because I was according to the doctors only 33 weeks and 5 days. According to my last menstrual cycle I was 34 weeks 2 days. Either way he was going to be born premature.

As luck would have it my friend, the nurse I was hoping to deliver me Sharon was on that day and didn't have an assignment yet. She got my IV started and began antibiotics since I hadn't been GBS tested yet. She was great because she called St.Josephs continuously for me to check to see if his lung results were back yet.

The anesthesiologist I was hoping for was on that day as well as the scrub tech I had wanted. It seemed as if everyone was in place for the delivery of my sweet boy!

Cory showed up around 10am, he had just gotten to work when my water broke. He works in Gila Bend, so he turned around and headed back to town. He was typical Cory, cool, calm and collected. He was making calls and keeping all our family in Oklahoma updated.

3:30 rolled around and the results were in, his lungs WERE mature, we were given the green light for a cesarean section, we decided it would be at 5pm.

34 weeks!!

2011-07-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

34 weeks!! Hooray!!

Today we drove to Tucson, because my cousin bought me a 3D/4D ultrasound package. Of course my little breech baby was facing my back so we couldn't get very good pictures... Here are the 3 that turned out.

I have gestational hypertension, still not being diagnosed as pre eclampsia, however this past week I have been symptomatic, spots before my eyes, a large weight gain in a week, high blood pressures and swelling. My 24 hour urine from a few weeks ago came back at 255 the cut off for my doctor is 300. So we will see if it turns into pre eclampsia or not.

I think I already blogged that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which completely explains why this kiddo is sooooo big already!! His last measurements were 4lbs 3 ounces and that was at 31 weeks.As I stated above he is breech, more transverse then breech, but either way that head is not in my pelvis.

My hyperemesis gravidum, is somewhat controlled, I have more good days then bad, but spend A LOT of time on bedrest because if I'm up and moving I get nauseated and drive heave or vomit, motion completely sets it off!!

All in all we are nearing the end, and we will have this big sweet baby in our arms before we know it, and the past 9 months will have all been worth it!!!

27 weeks

2011-06-17T18:33:00.001-05:00

Just a little over 27 weeks.... I go in for weekly visit to the doctor. Thank God I have such a great group I see. My blood pressure was high on my visit this week, my labs were normal, now we are waiting for my 24 hour urine results. We are monitoring pressures at home.... I used to be a 110/60 type of gal, well I have been looking at 160-170/90's... Crazy scary! I lay here and think of every scenario possible with blood pressure problems... MY greatest concern is delivering him early, because I am already on short term disability, if he comes early, I will have to return to work within 6 weeks, and I can't bear the thought of leaving my baby in the NICU, and or not being able to take time off work when he is finally released!!

So then I get the call yesterday from my dear doctor, she was calling to inform me I failed my 1 hour glucose test! So we have now set me up on home health to monitor my sugars and modify my diet and we will go from there.

So yup that's this pregnancy in a nut shell, Zofran pump, 4 medications 3 times a day to keep food down, IV home fluids, blood sugar monitoring and now blood pressure monitoring....

In my wildest dreams I never would have guessed this could all happen to one person... I will not complain though, I will endure anything I have to in order to keep this little baby safe inside my body, 13 more weeks is nothing, we've made it this far!!!

Please continue to pray for my sweet baby Lane!!! Thank you :)

25 Weeks!

2011-05-28T16:42:00.000-05:00

What 25 weeks looks like!!

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. He's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

We are now 25 weeks. I have been placed off of work for the time being. I am back on my Zofran pump as well as IV fluids at home as needed. We had the fluids for 5 days straight running last weekend. It was a pain in the butt to lug around my IV pole, but wow did I feel better with the fluids, it really made a difference in how I felt!!

We are anxiously awaiting our little mans arrival!! September will be here before we know it!!!

20.4 weeks!!

2011-04-28T20:12:00.000-05:00

We are halfway there HoOrAy!!!! Here is my little man at 19 weeks for his anatomy scan!

How precious is this baby profile?

Look at these big boy feet!!

And here is what I look like at 20 weeks!! My boy is a growing machine inside my uterus!! It's wild all the changes that take place and how quickly they happen, I swear it seems as though I woke up and there was my belly!! LOL

I am starting to ween off my Zofran pump, and other meds!! Hooray for that! I have real cravings now, and this baby gets a kick out of super spicy and super sweet things!! He will move all over after I have eaten those things!! My husband has been awesome, he runs out to buy me cake and shaved ice for me, even at 9pm!!

Things have been going so well that I am already talking about baby number 2!! LOL However Mr. Oklahoma isn't so sure about that!! :) It's just been such an amazing experience now to feel this little guy growing and moving inside of me, it is indescribable!!

18 & 6 weeks

2011-04-15T04:05:00.000-05:00

My sweet little one, you are 18.6 weeks today and I have been feeling good for 12 whole days now, I bet it seems silly only 12 days but they have been a miraculous 12 days!! I have finally been able to eat normal and drink all the water I want without getting sick!!

This week we have our anatomy scan and I can't wait to see you again!! I should be able to feel you by now but because of my anterior placenta I can't feel you yet. Which is a bummer because I can't wait to have the reassurance that your there and doing well by feeling you!

Since you are just shy of 19 weeks I am going to post the 19 week update.. I hope you know how very very much you are loved already.. My heart has never felt love like this before, my intense need to protect you and grow you big and strong. 21 more weeks my sweet sweet boy and I will hold you in my arms!!

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! His brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that he may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to him, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. His arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of his body now. His kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on his scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

This is what an Heirlooom Tomato is :)

I borrowed this from one of my BabyCenter Moms

2011-04-08T07:23:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer. (This one is my favorite, as an AZ native I know how hot AZ gets in the summer, why do you need to point out I'm going to have a hot summer??????)

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely,

All the Pregnant Women/New Parents in the World

Baby Lane Fun Facts!!

2011-03-31T13:31:00.002-05:00

Congratulations!
Your Due Date Is Saturday, September 10, 2011

Your conception date was most likely Saturday, December 18, 2010
You are in Week 17 of your pregnancy
Your Third Trimester will begin 6/11/2011
117 days down, 163 to go!

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Half Birthday: March 10

Birthstone: Sapphire

Birth Flower: Aster or Morning Glory

This time next year your baby will be 29 Weeks Old!!

Your baby will start kindergarten in 2017, be old enough to drive a car in 2027, finish high school in 2030, and will graduate from college with the class of 2034, give or take a year. Can you imagine?

Oh and here are his first pairs of shoes that his daddy bought him!!

Meet Baby Lane!!

2011-03-27T08:21:00.001-05:00

Here is our BOY!!! Baby Lane Elias Collyar!! Elias is his middle name, it's not part of his last name. Lane is the first BOY born into the Elias family!! We have a household of all women, sadly the Elias name will never be carried as a last name, so of course it was fitting to have Lanes middle name be Elias!

My family is over the moon about us having a BOY, and of course Mr. Oklahoma is too, he is so excited, that day I found out he said "It made my day finding out it's a BOY" Obviously we would have been happy with a girl as well, but this just makes it so much fun because in our family we don't know the first thing about BOYS!!

What we do know how to do is shop! Lane has over 32 outfits from my mom and dad, sisters and close friends!! This BOY is going to be well dressed, and of course we already have our share of ASU and OU items!!!

I am 16 weeks now and the nausea and vomitting let up for about a week and a half, and now it is back again. I can't wait until this part of the pregnancy is over! I am grateful for my zofran pump, it does help to keep the vomitting down to a minimum!! However it's cumbersome to lug this pump attached to your body everywhere, so I won't be sad when I'm healthy and I can mail the pump back to the company.

In 2 more weeks we have another US for growth and full anatomy!! I can't wait to see our BOY again. Oh, and he looks JUST like Mr. Oklahoma already, LLLLOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG skinny legs, and arms!! LOL

Do you see what we see?

2011-03-11T17:18:00.002-06:00

14 week scan :)

11 and 4

2011-03-07T08:55:00.000-06:00

It is indescribable to see how the baby grows week to week!! Our baby is getting so big, you can see it's defined lips and nose!! This was our nuchal translucency ultra sound! I had horrible nightmares the night before, I am really beginning to believe I know too much from a medical standpoint for my own good!
However the tech was great and reassured me right away that the intestines were all sealed inside his/her belly, the spinal cord was nicely closed, and the nuchal fold only measured .8!! In my nightmare it measured 3.4!!!

I was feeling good for about 4 days, then the morning sickness started up with a vengeance!! I am now on Reglan, Phenergan, Scolpamine patches, Steroids and getting a Zofran pump today!!!

I can't wait until I am feeling 100% again!! I'm so grateful for my group of doctor's well really one in particular, she has been so patient with me and doesn't make me feel like a crazed labor nurse!!!

On another note, we are headed to court next week for our final custody decision.....

10 weeks and some change

2011-02-19T12:01:00.000-06:00

Well here is our little "dave matthews" we aren't sure if it's a boy or girl but we call the baby dave matthews, mostly because my husband hates it LOL We are roughly 10 weeks 4 days in this picture. Although we are doing dating this week because we are unsure. In this picture it looks like there are little nubs for hands and legs but really the kiddo has llloooonnnggg legs and arms like it's daddy, the baby was kicking and waving, and would push off the uterus it was amazing to see!! Without thinking I drank about 20 ounces of apple juice before my appointment in hopes I could pee at the doctors visit, well that kiddo was a maniac!! It looked a titch more then 10 weeks but we'll see...

I'm down to only throwing up about 3-4 times a day which is a major improvement. Mostly I just throw up bile, oh and sounds, smells and talk of grossness makes me sick LOL..

For the first time in 5 years as a labor and delivery nurse, I threw up during a delivery LOL Don't worry I had enough time to excuse myself from the patients room.

I'm contemplating doing a 3D at 15 weeks for a sneak peak gender as well as so we can get video footage to send to his mom so she can watch our kiddo grow!!

Everyday I am amazed that this little life is growing inside of me! I didn't realize you could love something so much in such a brief period of time, without even meeting them yet!!

7wks 3 days

2011-01-26T19:20:00.000-06:00

Well our little sweet pea, I am not able to keep much of anything down at all. My diet consists of sips of Gatorade or Sprite and macaroni and cheese. Before I was pregnant I can honestly say I haven't had macaroni and cheese in well over a year, I used to think of it as a processed, powdery mess! Now, boy do I crave it. I also eat bananas non stop that is another thing I can keep down!!

The other morning we woke up with a scare of some bleeding, I didn't want to call the doctor because I kept thinking, I'm a High Risk Labor Nurse, I should know better..... I kept thinking I know I would tell the patient it was fine. However I finally called, we went in to the office and we got to see you again. Your precious little sac has almost tripled in size, I couldn't believe in a week how big you are. And you looked great, so we were sent home with reassurance that you were a-ok!

It is still so wild to think there is a teeny tiny baby growing inside of me... I used to not believe it, however now with all the sickness and unable to button my pants I believe it all right! I can't want, 33 more weeks, it seems so surreal!!

We are all so excited and love you so much already!!!

Oklahoma and I go round and round on names, I LOVE traditional names,Abigail, Clare, Marie, Elizabeth, Emma, Janie etc. He hates them, this from the man who named his kids "different names" I would love Abigail Clare and we call her Abbie, or for a little boy Grayson, and we can call him Gray. We will see, what we end up with, we have a few months before we have to make it official!! I love the names Maddison, Bailey and Bella however the older I got with no kids, I decided to name my pets those names LOL so, so much for that!!

Oklahoma and I are going on a honeymoon in 2 weeks to Las Vegas, he has never been and I am so excited about showing him around, there is so much sight seeing to do, I hope I am feeling wonderful so I am able to enjoy our trip and the buffets LOL!

Our Sweet Pea

2011-01-20T11:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we had our first ultrasound, we were able to see our little sweet peas heart beat and hear it... It was music to our ears!!

It is still so surreal, I can't even wrap my head around the fact there is a baby growing inside of me!!! I have been battling horrible morning/afternoon/night sickness... I have tried seabands, zofran, eating crackers before I get out of bed you name it... I would love any suggestions, I'm willing to try anything!! :) Thanks

5wks 4 days

2011-01-20T11:34:00.000-06:00

Wed. 01/12/2011 7pm

Today when the alarm went off, I rushed to get our oldest in the shower and then back to my bathroom to take a test. Oklahoma was still asleep, as soon as I peed, the blue positive sign lit up, there was no denying it... At first i had a moment of what on earth, no way, especially because I didn't think it would happen so quick.

I called my bestie, she didn't answer. I raised downstairs and called my mom. She was ecstatic!! The kids got off to school and I waited for Oklahoma to wake up. I didn't want to wake him up because I knew he'd be groggy and his reaction wouldn't be what I wanted LOL... I sent a picture to my bestie of the test and she called immediately, she was so very excited! Then he finally came down stairs and I told him "We're pregnant" he said, what, and just looked at me, and I said, yes I took a test today, we are pregnant!! He was excited too!!!

What a very surreal feeling... I don't think it's sunk in all the way yet.

I can't post this post yet until later on down the road...

**This was written on the 12th and posted today, 8 days later

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Collyar

2011-01-03T03:46:00.000-06:00

I'm back...

2011-01-03T03:45:00.001-06:00

Yes, I admit I have been gone for a long time.. I was busy with life happening.. To recap my last 8 months, I met the love of my life, I got engaged, I moved to Oklahoma, I got a job in Arizona, we decided to pack up and move to Arizona, a week before the wedding we got emergency custody of his 3 kids, we drove all 5 of us, in my car and a uhaul to Arizona. We moved back into my old house, we got married, and now here we are.....

I'm not sure where to begin, I suppose I will tell you about my new additions.

Miss C. is 11, she is a feisty, dare devil, sports playing tomboy. She reminds me of myself at her age.. There were times I forgot I was a girl....

Miss K is 9, she is my dainty little princess with legs up to the throat and hair down to her bum! She is a people pleaser, she reminds me most of my sister Miss D. (the one I've lived with forever)

Mr. W is 5, and he is a boys boy that's for sure, I just adore this little man, and he adores me. I quickly became "mom" to him and he has such a way of winning me over...

I'll let you in on a little secret.... On the 4th of July I was in Oklahoma visiting, and we stopped at a fireworks stand to buy some fireworks, I quickly dialed my mom on the phone and in a panic said "I don't know the first thing about boys!! He farts and burps and laugh and is dirty and refuses to take baths, I can't do this boy thing!" I was raised in a house of all females (with the exception of my dad) and this boy thing was VERY new to me... My mom gave me some great advice and within a matter of days, that little boy had won my heart open.

Now I am like putty in Mr. W's hands, all he has to do is look at me with his big brown eyes and call me mom and I just melt....

73, 32, 38

2010-10-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

I moved here 73 days ago.... We are getting married in 32 days..... We are moving to Arizona in 38 days...

I really like Oklahoma (the state), it's really grown on me, I've met some very nice people at work and I really enjoy the routine that Oklahoma and I have fallen in to. We seems to glide seamlessly as if we were meant to spend our lives together... I love this man more then anything, and I as his future bride I support him in his decisions...

One day I was doing my hair and he was outside with the kids, he came into the bathroom and said, we are leaving, I'm done here... I thought it was the heat of the moment because the ex was up to her antics.... A few days pass and he brought it up again... I kept quite and didn't push the issue just supported his concerns and complaints of being here...

I come from a very close family, they are my support and I couldn't imagine having siblings turn on me the way I have experienced some of the family here doing.. We owe no one any explanations, however when people create a toxic environment for others, the best thing is to remove yourself from it.

So through a lot, and I mean A LOT of prayer things started to fall into place.. I applied for a job with my former hospital system, and I was offered a job at one of their brand new facilities that has yet to open.

After the wedding, we will return to Oklahoma and pack up and make the move back to Arizona......

Another new adventure for us to embark on... ;)

Fall

2010-09-28T13:52:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in a long time.. Probably beacuse we've been having so much fun in Oklahoma... Yes, really I just said that.... Things have been great here, I L-O-V-E the fall weather... This weekend was fabulous, it was just Oklahoma and I all weekend long, we went to his old high schools football game and it was cold, and we wore sweaters!! We spent a lazy day on the couch on Saturday BBQ'n and watching college football all day long!!! On Sunday we did chores around the house and more football, and yesterday we spent the afteronoon with his mom and stepdad shopping and lunch. Then in the afternoon we finished all of our halloween decorating the front of the house and the inside looks so cute!!! We had such a great time with each other, it was really nice!!

We drove my car from Arizona out here a few weeks ago... I will post those pictures soon.....

I just wanted to update and let everyone know life is going great in Oklahoma!!!

Be careful what you wish for!!

2010-08-12T16:27:00.001-05:00

I used to live and die by my calendar!! My life was planned out to the minute. I had morning appointments, lunch dates, shopping trips, movie dates, pottery dates, dinner outings, cocktail outings, coffee shop talks, heck I even have a friend I'd go eat pancakes with at 2AM!!! (Disclaimer: when I use the word "date" I don't mean the traditional "date" I mean meeting etc)

I liked that life, I liked being on the go and having friends and having people to meet up with and discuss a good book, or someone to drive around with in the middle of the night without a destination in mind.... I LOVED being able to drop by my moms or sisters house, go see my sister at work, go spend time volunteering at the Boys & Girls club, crafting, I had an ENTIRE craft room that I could make crafts in... Oh, did I mention I had a gym membership there, I could go run in the middle of the day if I wanted....

Today is Thursday, everyday this week (and the week before and before), when I have gotten home from work there is nothing to do, I think I have a special butt imprint on the couch because ALL I have done is sit around and watched TV. I get excited when it's time to get up and make dinner. Well, that took 1 hour now it's back to the couch. I have 3 books I'm in the middle of reading, I've taken up farmville as if it was a full time job!!!! Right now it's 4 in the afternoon and there is nothing to do in this small town!!! I wish my fiancé would wake up so we could go for a drive, sight see, go to the lake, see a movie, go to a coffee shop and read and have coffee, heck I'd even settle for wandering around the local Walmart!!

I used to enjoy coming out here to visit because we'd do a lot of nothing... However that was because I was always on the go in th city so it was nice to come here to relax... Well now relaxing full time is making me have cabin fever!!!

Next week I am working 3 days in a row then leaving for Phoenix, I land in Phoenix my sisters are picking me up we are going for a dress fitting, then lunch then I am headed to California!! I can't wait to be back in the busy hustle and bustle of a fast pace life!!

I guess they always say be careful what you wish for......

2010-08-08T19:55:00.005-05:00

So here I am 16 days in Ponca City, Oklahoma.... I've written this blog a few times in my mind... I wasn't sure which way I was going to write this update... At first I didn't want to write anything negative, because I didn't want people to start to think I made a mistake... Then I decided this is the story of me, and someday we'll look back on this and reflect that yeah it was hard but we survived it!!

I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't cried several times being here. The first week was really hard, it was hard because Oklahoma had to work everyday that I was here sitting in this house alone. It made me miss my home, it made me miss my dog, it made me miss my sisters something awful. The first week, I did a lot of sleeping and laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I'd get up around 4, shower get all ready and prepare him dinner so he wouldn't know I was sulking all day. Finally one day I had to confess to him, I was slipping into a depression being here. I needed to get out and meet people, work, and get established.

You see, in Arizona I was somebody.... I was an independent woman, who had a FABULOUS home, a great career where I really built a name for myself, and a family that I saw daily! I had none of that here, and I was beginning to think I made a mistake.

Oklahoma and I decided I should start work earlier then I had planned, because that would help me feel like I had some purpose here. I started orientation at South Central Kansas Regional Medical Center in Arkansas City, Kansas. It's an itty bitty hospital that I am working at PRN (as needed) just for supplemental income. I had a great day at hospital orientation and then I went and picked up my soon to be step-kids, it was our week to have them. We had a great time we went and played at Burger Kings play land, and we did some arts and crafts that afternoon. Having the kids around made a big difference in my mood. I introduced Oklahoma and kids to my favorite place in the world, the library!! The library in Ponca City is really neat, it's the kind you see in movies, where we walk up steps and there is a big old oak door!! We picked out movies and books to keep us entertained for the weekend.

Things were definitely starting to look up for me!! Then one night I just had a complete break down and decided I wanted to be in Arizona. Oklahoma sat there and listened to me go on and on for 2 hours of crying and talking about why I missed Arizona so much. He was real real quite and then he said "give me 6 months, and we'll move back there" That was all I needed him to say, and I felt a million times better, not because I was going to actually move back home, but because he'd be willing to go where ever I needed to be to be happy!! Things really started to look up since then!

I started my orientation on the floor and had a delivery right away, it was funny because I was supposed to just be there observing, but they got busy (2 patients) and I just had to jump in and take control and deliver the patient, and that was all I needed. I felt complete again, I didn't feel lost or empty anymore! I think Oklahoma really noticed the difference in me as well!

Things have been great ever since, I'm happy again, I'm not moping around the house depressed anymore!! I start orientation tomorrow morning at my full time job. I can't wait until I am working 3-4 days a week and able to be here to take care of my Oklahoma!

Time changes

2010-07-08T03:43:00.001-05:00

I just returned home from another trip to Oklahoma… It’s 2 hours ahead there…. So really my body believes it’s 0330 and it’s really only 0130 in Arizona… I should be sleeping but my mind is swimming with thoughts of the trip…

I thought I’d be excited to be home, to sleep in my bed to see my pup Bella, but the truth is as I got ready for bed tonight, I was sad that I wasn’t snuggling up to my Oklahoma, I was sad that a sweet childs face won’t be waking me up to make them breakfast, I was sad that I won’t be getting loved on by kids all day tomorrow….

In my wildest dreams I would have never guessed that I could love stepchildren like this, or the family Oklahoma and I now share….

It’s much much harder walking away from kids at the airport than it ever has been walking away from Oklahoma… What a crummy feeling of disappointment!!

This week we had the kids for the entire length of my trip. Oklahoma has a 10 year old girl, 9 year old girl and 4 year old boy!

This week I was a maid, chef, beautician, encyclopedia, shopper, nurse, planner, book reader, teacher, entertainer, waitress, laundry sorter, I could keep going, but what it really comes down to is MOM…..

I have an amazing appreciation for my mom, how she managed to stay home with us and keep us entertained in the summer all 4 of us girls is beyond me. I’ve always adored my mom but now that I was “mom” for a week, wow what a full time job it is!! And yes, there were plenty of times I just wanted 5 minutes of quite time, I still loved every single moment of it…

It clicked with me, no wonder I love being a nurse, I’m a natural care take and nurturer at heart. I’ve just been doing this nursing thing to satisfy my need and want of a family…

I used to be so career oriented and driven, I gained my self worth from my career and after a week with the kids, I have a new focus. I can’t wait to spend my life being a wife and a mother!!

I love you Oklahoma, and the kids so very much, thanks for a great week!!

A few days later……

2010-06-24T02:09:00.001-05:00

A few days later, I would wake up in my bed and would lie there those first few moments of waking up and then it’d dawn on me, holy heck there is something on my hand…. I’m engaged to be married, Oklahoma proposed to me……

There are still moments I’ll be shopping, or washing my hands, or glance in the mirror and I see this beautiful ring on my hand and thing oh my gosh!!! I’m engaged to Oklahoma!!!!!

It’s so hard being away from him…. It’s hard to really think we’ve lived the past 13 years a part, why is it so complex to do so now???

I just returned from another trip to Oklahoma.. I was there for for a week this time… It was a great trip, I feel like I got a lot accomplished in the house… You see Oklahoma has been a bachelor for awhile, so the house needed a woman to get in there and clean and square things up… I only got a teeny tiny portion of the kitchen complete, but once I did, oh did I feel good, and I felt at home while I was in there cooking… It’s amazing how the addition of a few things to the kitchen can make me feel like it’s my kitchen now….

We had an incredible week, it was filled with job interviews for me, and him having to work… I bet your thinking what’s incredible about that… Well, we had to live “real life” for the week.. It wasn’t the usual vacation period that our visits have been… He went to work, and I was home to clean and cook and take care of errands…. I loved every-single-second of it…. It is very very rewarding taking care of a home, and taking care of my Oklahoma at the end of the day….

Monday, Tuesday and everyday there after without him…..

2010-06-24T01:51:00.001-05:00

Monday we spent the day with my family, we swam and cooked out and played Pictionary, it was a lot of fun… Oklahoma fit in well with the chaos of the family, it was nice!

0330 in the morning came on so very early… It was time to wake up and take my Oklahoma to the airport… It was a quite morning, not many words were spoken… Which now in hindsight I notice a trend…. Neither of us talk much on that dreaded ride to the airport……..

It was dark and I drove with a heavy heart…. We spent a little bit of time sitting at the airport, and then it was time to send him on his way…..

I walked begrudgingly back to the car and all I could think about was those Fergie lyrics from the song Big Girls Don’t Cry

“The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity”

I got back into the car, and the smell of him, the smell of his cologne and wintergreen chew lingered in the car…..

Sometimes this is harder then I think either of us bargained for…….. In the end it is all worth it and we both know it……

Sunday 05/30

2010-06-04T06:14:00.000-05:00

Sunday was the first day we had to ourselves, we had nothing planned until that evening, it was heavenly to just be able to lounge around the house. We woke up that morning and I made Oklahoma some coffee and he sat outside for a bit and enjoyed the morning and watered my grass, I did a few things around the house. It was like we had settled into a routine already, it was really nice just being able to do our own things and yet still be in each others presence.. Eventually we showered and got ready for the day and managed to find our way to the couch to watch tv and nap.

That evening we went to my friends house for dinner and dominoes! I have a friend who I have known since high school, well I went to her house a few weeks ago to tell her about Oklahoma, well as it turns out her husband grew up about 20 miles from where Oklahoma lives. So we decided to get together while he was here. We had a great time, for starters she is an amazing cook, and made homemade pesto pizza which was delicious (she always prepares me wonderful vegetarian dishes) Oklahoma made the dessert for us, he made a pizza cookie, which was so yummy!!! We played dominoes and had a nice night!!

Besides the engagement on Saturday, Sunday was one of the best days while he was here, because we were able to spend the day with just each other.... I love my Oklahoma so very much!!

Saturday 05/29

2010-06-02T21:06:00.000-05:00

Saturday we drove around sight seeing my work, Old Town Scottsdale etc.. We met my bestie and her family at Green New American Vegetarian Restuarant! I absolutely LOVE this restuarant, I could eat there for every meal!! We sat around and visited and ate our faux meat! I'm sure it was quite the experience for this beef fed boy from Oklahoma, but the fact that he was even open to it was great, he is very supportive of my lifestyle choices!!

We came home and watched Shrek and napped off and on. It was finally time to get ready for our company for the night. I had invited over my sisters and their husbands/bfs and a few other close friends over to watch the Suns game, meet Oklahoma and play games.

We were in my room finishing getting ready, and he was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I was just chatting away and moving around the room, and somehow I ended up sitting on the side of the bed with him, and I was still talking to him and started to kiss him and he sorta moved me back away from him, and he turned to face me. When I looked down, he had a box in his hand. Well of course it dawned on me what he was about to do, so it made me start to cry, in which he said no, no, you can't cry hold on, and he opened the box and took the ring out, and everything was such a blur (Literally because I was trying not to cry) and he held my hands and he was shaking like a leaf and he was so sweaty!! IT was so sweet, and he said "Brittney will you marry me?" I said "Yes, and I will love you for the rest of my life" And he slipped the ring on my finger..... It was the most amazing moment of my life!!

So then we text/called friends, family, parents etc. Everyone was so excited for us!! Shortly there after our friends arrived and we had dinner and watched the Suns game and we played, pool and fooseball and hung out. It was a great night, I was so excited and so glad he picked that moment to propose to me becuase it was a great way to celebrate with my closest friends and family there.

This is our first picture taken as an engaged couple :) WOW, I still look down at my hand and get goosebumps when I realize that I am going to be Mrs.Oklahoma soon!!! I adore this man so very much, he is simply amazing!!

Friday 05/28

2010-06-02T20:43:00.000-05:00

Friday morning we had to wake up to our alarm because we I had made plans to go tubing down the salt river with Oklahoma and my friends here. YIKES it was early, but we managed to pull ourselves together and get to the meeting point.

Here is Oklahoma waiting for another couple so we could carpool to the meeting spot. I'm sure he's going to be really excited that I'm posting all these random pictures of him :)

We had a really fun time on the river, we went with some fun friends and enjoyed the Arizona scenery. We went back to the house and took showers and napped until it was time to go face my parents... I kept giving Oklahoma "pretend questions" that my dad might ask. Now anyone who knows my father knows he is a man of very few words, so I knew good and well he wasn't going to ask anything deep or personal, at least not on the first meeting that just isn't his style, my father is the man that stands in the back and digests it all in.

If you read any of my other posts you also know that dinners at my parents house are always big productions, rarely to we eat quick, we usually all sit around the big dining room table and eat and talk for a long time.

Well in true Elias fashion that is exactly what we did, we sat around the big table talking and talking. It was very comfortable there, he fit in nicely, and didn't seem overwhelmed by the Elias girls... Trust me we can be a little intimidating when you get us all together! After dinner we were haning out and my mom, Oklahoma and I went to sit outside for a bit. My mom is a straight shooter, she had no trouble asking questions point blank. Oklahoma had no trouble answering her... "I love your daughter very much, and I believe she is the one" he told my mom..... I could have cried my eyes out right there! It is one thing for him to say it to me, but another thing to hear him tell my mom! Needless to say the meeting of the family went well, very well!

This was taken that night at my parents, and that is Emma Baffert in the corner :)

Our lazy Thursday together

2010-06-02T00:35:00.001-05:00

(so because I have a bad memory, someday I’ll turn my blog into a scrapbook for my kids to read, so yes, I am going to blog day by day what we did)

We grabbed lunch and went home to finally go to sleep… We both hadn’t slept in a few days by this point…….. We slept well past 5pm!!! We decided to go to my parents house so they could meet him real quick and then to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory to meet Danielle… Oklahoma insisted on shaving before going to meet my parents…. He also looked so cute in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops! It was his Arizona outfit…

The first meeting of my parents and my youngest sister went well… We were off to meet Danielle at the Cheesecake Factory. It went well we talked a lot and ate, we were starved by that point…. We finally took one of our first pictures together!!

Oklahoma comes to Arizona

2010-06-02T00:25:00.000-05:00

On May 26th, I got off work that morning and raced home to jump in bed I was soooooooooo tired… By 11am I was wide awake, wide awake like I drank an ocean of coffee wide awake.. Apparently the anticipation of Oklahoma arriving was playing with my emotions more than I realized….

I finished the last minute details of house cleaning I needed to get done and was off to work… OHHHHH gosh, by the time my shift started I was hurting.. I felt like I was hit by a truck, probably that same truck that dropped off that ocean of coffee that made me so wide awake earlier in the day… THANK GOODNESS the census was low and I have some great coworkers that were working to get me out of there… I was able to leave work by 9pm, instead of 6am!!

Off to Walmart I went, who knows what for but I am SURE I needed something important before he came… Remember that trip to Target I took the night before leaving for Oklahoma? (Read that post here) Yup it pretty much was the same scenario, I was walking the store aimlessly…. Thank goodness, good old Oklahoma knows me well enough to give me a call when I don’t respond after awhile, he was able to talk me through my crazy excitement.

You see, Oklahoma had to work that night too.. He was working until 3am when he was going to leave for the airport… Well after several conversations back and forth and the anticipation, he left work at 2am instead… Midnight Arizona time, meanwhile I was still cleaning, ironing, dusting, ~~DOING-IDIODIC-THINGS-TO-KEEP-BUSY~~ preparing the house for my love….

So we talked all the way to Wichita, he finally made it there by 4am and he was going to sleep in the car for a bit…. At that point I was going to try to nap for the hour too….

We were liked crazed school kids, we didn’t sleep very much at all, and ended up calling each other before our alarms had gone off!

After 123810921 explanations of what he needed to do when he got inside the airport, he finally was ready to do it.. He was going inside to check into his flight… It was precious his level of concern for doing all that it entails to travel these days…

Before long he was off to Dallas…. An hour later, I got my next call, he was in Dallas safe and sound… About 2 hours later I was pacing the terminal in Phoenix, like a lunatic waiting for him to arrive… I was just as nervous as when I flew out there….

No words can describe how right he makes my world when I am with him….. At last there he was, my gorgeous, Oklahoma….. It was time to begin our 6 days together….

This song reminds me of Oklahoma!!!

2010-05-25T17:46:00.000-05:00

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water acrosst he deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Numbers

2010-05-24T14:47:00.001-05:00

More days until my Oklahoma is in Arizona with me…. I can’t wait for him to be here!!

Crummy days ago we parted ways in a desolate Wichita airport. It was that moment that I think we both knew what we truly meant to each other..

Glorious days ago Oklahoma was sitting at work, well really as he tells the story he was relaxing at work with his feet up on the desk and thought to himself “I’m going to look for her one more time.” Meanwhile in Arizona I had just been to church and had been praying for God to give me a sign, to show me “the one”…… 50 days ago he found me… After countless searches over the years, there I finally was…..And here we finally are…..

May 22nd

2010-05-22T02:51:00.000-05:00

Remembering my brother, Beau today...

A few pictures of Oklahoma (the state and the bf)

2010-05-21T12:42:00.001-05:00

View Full Album

My "new" backyard

2010-05-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture of Oklahomas backyard.... Looks heavenly doesn't it?? There is a huge area to the left of the tree in which he decided is where my garden will go. I can't wait to be able to grow healthy, organic vegetables for our home!! He also has a place for my compost, which he said he is going to start building.... I can't wait to see what Oklahoma comes up with.... After dinner one night we sat out on the deck enjoying the weather talking... Oklahoma (the state not him) is such a simpler way of life, I love it.....

Complicated

2010-05-18T06:48:00.000-05:00

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" Mark Twain

Things can be complicated......... Sometimes I don't think people realize that when they don't tell the truth they are making things more complicated... Usually if your truthful it might hurt a little but at least it doesn't become complicated..... Sooner or later little falsities start coming out... Falsities, is that even a word? I don't know and I don't care....It's 0425 in the morning and I started thinking about things like the truth....

Why is it so few people value the truth anymore? Here's the thing, you start out believing and trusting people and then someone takes a little piece away from you here and there, so you trust a little less... Then someone you love lies, and a little bit more is lost, then someone you trust, someone who should never let you down, that person lies, it may be a white lie, and then that becomes the straw that breaks the camels back.... You no longer have trust anymore..

You second guess everything, every action, every statement, every feeling...... People underestimate the destruction of lies.... You could lie about something simple like hmmmmmm I don't know here is a good example: "I went to church today" well if you didn't really go to church then why lie about it? If you are capable of lying about little things, then what substantially large things are you capable of lying of?

Furthermore if you feel comfortable lying about little things to someone you love and care for then something is wrong..........

Lies destroy people, they have a domino effect, they are very destructive and they have long term effects....

4 days ago.......

2010-05-15T19:43:00.000-05:00

4 days ago I said goodbye to Oklahoma!! 4 days ago we started another countdown 12 more days and Oklahoma makes his first visit to Arizona! He is going to fly into Sky Harbor (Yikes) Yes, I am a titch worried for him, because it will be a little overwhelming in our GiNoRmOuS airport for him. However I am sure he will do just fine.....

We have so much planned for his trip to Arizona because there are so many different people that need to meet him!! I'm so excited for my friends and family to meet him!

First on the agenda will be to get some pictures of us together so we can make everyone happy!! Ya hear that Oklahoma? We ARE going to take a picture together..... ;) 50 kisses to you sweets!! XOXO

My trip to OK

2010-05-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

Monday was a nice day it was overcast and cool outside, we went for a drive around town site seeing…. It was really neat because I saw a bunch of different animals and the scenery is so green there it is just beautiful, being an AZ native things like rolling hills of green grass is something you only see on a golf course!

We were out at the lake and the loud siren that comes on the radio here in AZ that always says “This is a test of the emergency broadcast system” came over Oklahoma's radio… Except this wasn’t a test, this was a tornado warning, they used words such as “life threatening emergency” Holy smokes I think my eyes became huge saucers!!!!!!!!!! Well good old Oklahoma said “Oh honey don’t worry we’ll head to moms” (Gosh sometimes the things he says melts my hear just by him saying them with that precious little accent!!) So off to Newkirk we went in the event we needed to get into the storm shelter!!! Well that storm passed right around us and we were able to head back home to Ponca. That was our excitement for the day. We then headed to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. I made us dinner that night and then we sat around back for a bit enjoying the weather.

Tuesday we went to his moms work to spend some time with her and I met 2 more aunts. It was nice to sit around and visit with more of Oklahoma’s family. He has this beautiful blanket at his house that we snuggled in all week, and when were were at the Kaw City museum, he bought me one to have here in AZ! That blanket has since become my little bit of Oklahoma that I have here with me, and it brings me comfort!!

We decided to head to Wichita and get some dinner before I left that night. We finally got into the airport and all checked in, we sat around a bit and then decided it was time to say our goodbyes.

Oh that was not good at all, I think we both tried our best to just be strong but saying goodbye was ~~horrible,~~ ~~dreadful~~, ~~lousy~~, ~~awful,~~ ~~hideous~~, ~~terrible~~, ~~cruel~~, Heartbreaking…… I walked through that security line and just felt awful… I had some time until my plane took off so I went and sat in the bar and stared out that window and just cried. I am not kidding you I cried that entire flight to Denver! I think the folks on the plane thought I was nuts, the flight attendant brought me napkins LOL. I literally felt the heartache of leaving my love behind.

I have never-felt-like-this-before….

Oklahoma

2010-05-09T22:36:00.000-05:00

28 days seemed like an eternity and then before I knew it, it was 1 day away. I found myself completely out of sorts. I went to work and God love my coworkers because they were able to keep me squared away for 4 hours. Luckily I had someone cover the rest of my shift so I could go to my parents for dinner and home to pack. The plan was to be home and in bed by 8pm... Well hmmm sometimes plans don't turn out the way I want them too... Of course I had a great dinner with my family and of course I got the "talk" from my dad.......

Then I left and went to Target, because I needed a phone charger to take with me. Oh geez bad idea.... Before long I was pacing the isles of Target and sweating, literally sweating buckets and my mouth became dry and I couldn't talk or text LOL Oklahoma text me and I just ignored it because I didn't want to talk to anyone... In hindsight that was a bad idea, I should have called the bestie so she could talk me out of there LOL

So Oklahoma finally called me on my way home and he set my mind at ease, well at least for the time being.... I was home by about 930 and began packing.... I was in bed by 11 and was anxiously awaiting the alarm to go off at 0230!!!

The second that alarm went off I literally jumped out of bed and was ready to get in the shower!! I woke up with a complete sense of peace, I didn't have a single concern or worry about going. Once at the airport I was on the plane waiting to take off.... The strangest thing happened, I literally sat there and every single moment that had transpired the previous 28 days flashed through my mind. Every phone conversation, every text, every facebook message..... Then suddenly I was just ready to be there with hm. I arrived in Denver and he called me, we chatted for a bit and then I was on the plane again headed to Wichita...

Holy smokes flat land! What the heck! Luckily the man next to me was able to explain to me about their flat lands and their farms etc. But wow.... So I get off the plane at this tiny itty bitty airport....... The man who sat next to me walked me all the way to baggage, (Ummmm like I was going to get lost in that tiny airport?) That's when I saw him........

Oklahoma was there.... Ahhhh just like I remembered my sweet boy... So we greeted each other with a hug hello and I met his mom. It felt surreal to be there and to be able to actually touch him, to feel him.....

That first day in OK with him was good, I got the grand tour of Newkirk and Ponca City!!! We went up to the Walmart and bought a few things and then came home and I cooked us dinner, his sister came over that night and we all just hung out for a bit.

Saturday morning I woke up and went on my run, It is so beautiful here, nothing at all like I expected!! It is so green and so many trees!! It was a great run, the weather was nice and cool. Later we went to a store that had an ENTIRE natural food section.. I was in heaven, they even had organic produce! Yup, totally the things that get me excited! That night we cooked out at his sisters house and then we went to the figure 8 car races. Wait until I post those pictures! But it was fun, something I have never done before, but fun! Oh yeah, and his 2 older kids were there so I got to meet them, and I think it was better that it was impromptu because I didn't have a chance to worry about the big meeting... They were nice to me so that was good.

Sunday (today) was a lazy day around the house, which was great!!! We just watched TV and spent time together. It stormed a titch, which was nice! Oh, and we went to Braum's and got ice cream and I took a few pictures of the city.

Ok, I'll post more when I have time, and I'll include pictures too..... 2 more days left here..........

Oklahoma……

2010-05-04T01:32:00.001-05:00

Yup there is Oklahoma, it’s 1066 miles away from where I live….
I suppose it’s time to bring you up to speed about Oklahoma! So back to the Sunday of Easter, I received a FB friend request from Oklahoma. WOW I thought I haven’t seen him since September of 1997! Yes, I did just say 1997! I know that was a ~~long time ago~~ over a decade ago! So I waited until Monday when I had time and we exchanged a few pleasantries via facebook email. He sent me his phone number and said “If I’m not on here later text me” I was getting ready to go meet a friend for dinner and so I though “hmmmm should I do this or not, because I know where this will go” I went about getting ready and then I decided to send the text.

“So you’ve looked for me before huh? Why?”

Yes I know weirdo, why was that my opening text? But he replies with “ I have never forgotten you.” Hook line and sinker… Well we continued to text throughout my ENTIRE dinner (I know totally rude, have I no manners) Before long we had text from 5pm until 10pm and it was time to get some sleep.

We picked up with the texting the next day and low and behold by afternoon my phone was ringing, he had called me! We talked for 2 hours! He called me later that night and we talked another hour and a half!! There was so much to say to this person I hadn’t seen in over a decade, there was so many funny stories he had to share, there were some phone calls that I felt could have lasted forever and I never would have gotten tired of him or the sound of his voice or the sweet little way he’d say “Well honey” with his precious Oklahoma accent.

By that Friday we decided we needed to see each other! Yes, I said by that Friday, 5 days later we knew we wanted to see each other in person and see where this was headed. By that evening it was official I was booked on a flight to Oklahoma…. There was only one problem…. It was not for 4 more weeks, we had to wait 28 days!

It’s been awhile…. a long while

2010-04-26T23:32:00.001-05:00

Well I am not sure where to begin….. I started dating “The Banker” the end of January. He was a very very nice man. We had some great dates. The type of dates that you see on the bachelor! They would start out at a baseball game, then we’d drive to Scottsdale for lunch, then we drove to Tempe Town Lake for a movie, then we went to Old Town Scottsdale and had cocktails…. They were always fun like that. It was hard to read where things were going. He would hug me hello and goodbye but NEVER kissed me. In the early stages I thought that was fine however after awhile I began to wonder, are we just friends that are hanging out on the weekends?

I started to think he just had great morals and values and that he respected me and didn’t want to seem too pushy. Well there was only so much of that I could take!

So his birthday was approaching and if you know anything about the way us girls grew up, birthdays are a HUGE deal in our house, we typically celebrate “birthday week” So I made sure to send “The Banker” messages each day regarding his birthday week. So something along the lines of “this was the number one song in 1977, etc etc” He loved it. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday, April 3rd. I arrived at his home and gave him his gift. I went and picked up those lemon cookies from Paradise Bakery he had mentioned once in email that were his favorite, and I made him a birthday card book. Inside the book was interesting facts about his birthday, as well as 2 options to choose from for his birthday, we could go on the Apache Trail and drive to all the lakes and have lunch or we could go to Dave and Busters and watch the final 4, play games and see a movie. He picked the day trip, we had a nice time we had a great dinner afterwards and went to see a movie and then at the end of the date I got a HUG and I left.

That next morning I was sitting in church and I just laid it all out there before God. I needed a sign, I plead with God, to give me a sign, to lead me to the person I was supposed to be with. After church I went to work. When I was sitting at work my phone chimed, I had mail. An email had arrived from Oklahoma!

Week in review

2010-02-13T01:06:00.000-06:00

I had the most intense vivid dream last night..... I didn't wake up remembering it though.. I had been awake a few hours and then I remembered it!! It was incredible though... Someone who I've really needed forgiveness from for about 8 years now, sat me down in my dream and we had a lengthy discussion and I was able to explain myself and then I was granted forgiveness. What a relief I felt when I recalled the dream.... I truly believe it was God at work. God knows our internal struggles, even if we don't verbalize them out loud. Now, I feel as though that something that had been holding me back has freed me. I've been forgiven by that person, but more importantly I realized that God forgave me....

The past 2 weeks I have been eating better, I cut out all junk and eating primarily clean. I read the Skinny Bitch book, which I now carry with me in my handbag because It's my new food bible to live by LOL... However the past week in particular I have had no meat. I have in fact had limit animal products. I have had 3 pieces of cheese and 1 egg in the past week. WELL let me tell you I feel amazing!!!!

It is hard to introduce a new lifestyle to others because it comes with a lot of questions!! I'm not a crazed PETA member, although I am now a PETA member because I can't stand the thought of the harm that is done to animals including fish!!! MORE importantly though, is the amount of antibiotics and pesticides that are pumped into these animals to keep them healthy enough to murder for our meals. It really got me thinking about the illness we experience, so many of them are linked to the toxins we are pumping into our bodies!!

I have been reading the bible since Christmas, it's my goal to complete it this year. Anyhow, in the bible they kill their own meat for meals. In the bible, they rarely speak of illness, and most of them lived over 100 years!!! Perhaps there is a reason that people lived longer back then... Their meat wasn't exposed to pesticides and antibiotics.

I don't begrudge anyone who want's to eat meat, I do however challenge you to make smart choices to be aware where your meat is coming from and what your meat was fed!!

Outraged by this news story!

2010-02-09T03:13:00.000-06:00

I watched this on the news last night and it really bothered me for a few reasons: Click the link below and read the story, then I will continue:

http://www.kpho.com/health/22468987/detail.html

This is a direct quote from the article:

Back in 1981, the company that made Glycol Ether, Union Carbide, issued a warning about possible miscarriages and birth defects. In 1982, the California Department of Health Services issued a Hazard Alert that said the chemical caused birth defects in test animals. Even the Semiconductor Industry Association issued a warning in 1982.

More warnings came out in 1987, 1989, and 1993. But experts tell us they believe the chemical was still used in the chip-making process well into the 1990s.

So this company knew that the chemical caused birth defects in animals and still allowed people of childbearing age to work there! It just blows my mind! I hope they have to pay out millions upon millions of dollars to these poor families!! The second thing that really chapped my hide was the animals! I am absolutely against testing on animals and this story is an example why!

These poor helpless animals were tested on, and had little baby animals with birth defects and what for? The humans didn't heed the warning!! So it was pointless!! JMJ (Jesus Mary & Joseph) Where is the logic in that?

I have been doing a lot of research on animal cruelty lately and it sickens me to see and hear what is done to animals. I seriously sit there staring at the screen in disbelief and disgust, and it makes me want to burst out crying because animals are treated so badly. With this being said, I haven't converted to becoming a strict vegan, however I have definitely changed the way I view animals. I won't eat real eggs anymore now that I see how the hens are treated in wire cages, and besides real eggs are bad for you. There are so many alternatives to eating meat that are healthy alternatives. I have however made the commitment to make some serious lifestyle changes based on what I saw on those links.

I encourage you to click on these links and see the reality of what is happening:

http://www.veganoutreach.org/whyvegan/behindthewalls.html

http://www.animalsuffering.com/animal-cruelty.php

http://www.meat.org/

Yup, I post pictures of my pets! Lame I know ;)

2010-01-12T06:45:00.000-06:00

Here are the girls on Christmas, can you guess which dog was pouting and not happy? And then there is Ms. Emma Baffert, seriously is she posing in her dress with her hair bow? Of course, anything to show up Bella.

Again, here is Bella pouting on the top of the couch, it's no secret she is not a fan of Ms. Emma Baffert, she just can't keep up with her energy level LOL

Seriously, she is ridiculously cute, because she is a true blue Elias, she LOVES her sleep. Funny, though when I was a kid I used to HATE it when my mom would take her daily nap, even though it was about 20 minutes long, I still would get annoyed, like I wanted her there by my side LOL well, this little pup and her mama's (my sister) can and do sleep all day long sometimes! I just love my sleepy Bells!!

Obey and Trust

2010-01-12T06:35:00.001-06:00

My resolutions for the New Year weren't really resolutions; they were lifestyle changes, lifestyle choices. So I have been praying on them for a while now. Well wouldn't you know that one day I was telling my mom "Come time of the wedding, I will have my mind made up and decide what I'm going to do about my career" Within a few days of praying on things, and asking God to guide me. I was pointed in the direction God intended for me. I just love that!

What I have been learning through my new bible study is that sometimes we are called to do things that are uncomfortable, unfamiliar or just plain awkward. Well guess what? Guess who is there to carry you the entire way? Yup, you guessed it! God

Here is a passage from my reflective piece of the bible. I can't get over how every time I do a reading it runs so parallel to my life.... Again, another one of those God moments. I tell you, he has me chuckling all day long now, as I see him ever so present in my life :)

Trust and obey- these two words go together like coffee and cream. Yet every day we face difficult situations that seem to defy simple solutions. As women, myriad difficult choices face us-the right course of care for a sick child, moving from everything familiar for a new opportunity, following God's leading even when the outcome is hazy, even when the right choice frightens us. You may toss and turn for nights without finding peace in your choice. The right choice is often the hard choice, but not always. How do we determine the right choice? Obey the guidance you find in God's Word, earnestly pray and seek trusted counsel, then trust God with the outcome. Will you have it your way or God's way? First trust in God to have your best interest at heart, and then trust him to lead you to the right choice.

The wedding

2010-01-11T17:01:00.001-06:00

Is getting closer and closer!!

This weekend the bridesmaids got together to finalize, shoes, hair,makeup and the bachelorette party. Then we did a crafting activity (because you know I love to craft) Well we decided that after the ceremony instead of us running around barefoot at the reception while dancing etc, we would ware flip flops. So each girl got to decorate their flip flops in their own way.. We had a lot of fun.

Grateful for 2009

2010-01-02T12:56:00.001-06:00

I have so many things to be grateful for in 2009:

I have a home
I have a job
My dearest friends survived a car accident that could have been fatal.
Gabe and Adriana can walk and breathe without assistance.
The baby wasn't in the car with them when the accident occurred.
I have built an amazing friendship this past year with Melissa.
Through a mothers grief I have formed close friendships.
I have met amazing couples through work that I wouldn’t have ever met before.
A sweet baby was born and named after me in the wake of them losing a baby last year.
My health has improved!
My brother in law didn’t get deployed.
My brother in law received orders that means my baby sister doesn’t have to leave the state!!
My baby sister got engaged!
I took some wonderful vacations with my family, memories that will last forever.
I developed a deeper relationship with Christ.
I have transportation
Michelle's dad has beaten a poor cancer prognosis and is doing well
I got to see Dave Matthews 3 times in one year.
My sister opened her brand new million dollar Boys & Girls Club

I spent the entire year single and not wrapped in a toxic relationship
I have been smoke free for 6 months
I went back to the basics and stopped spending needless money
I learned how to save money
I developed a good attitude about life and don't allow things to get me down or have a woe is me attitude.
I became a childbirth instructor
I became an NRP instructor
I got a job PRN in Globe
My parents are healthy

My sisters are healthy

I got to go on a weekend get away with my older sister and we laughed so hard our sides hurt
I rekindled my friendship with Rebecca
I have been in touch with a lot of people from my youth via facebook
Not getting the flu this season
The drive to Globe, experiencing the leaves turning brilliant colors –the golds, russets, and browns.
That Christ is present in my life
That Christ gave his life for me
That God guides me through my work daily to help families in need

I've made some great friends
I started working out and eating healthy
My freedom
My sister was awarded the top 40 under 40 award
My father was awarded man of the year award
I got to go on a weekend get away with my older sister and we laughed so hard our sides hurt

I could go on and on, but Danielle and I are going to run errands and if she comes down the stairs and sees me still in my pajamas I’ll get scolded LOL……
I can’t wait for this year, my baby sister gets married in 10 weeks, another KRB will be born and it’s another girl!! Perhaps I will have a little niece or nephew this year. I will return to college, I will have a new career endeavor… Stay tuned… Great things to come……

Urgent Prayer Request

2009-12-24T04:30:00.000-06:00

Some of my dearest friends were driving to Yuma tonight for Christmas and they were in a very bad car accident. By the grace of God, their baby had already gone down to Yuma with Alba's parents so he wasn't in the car. However Alba's sister Adriana was with them.

All 3 of them were air lifted to Phoenix. Alba is doing well, however her husband (Gabe) and her sister (Adriana) are in need of serious prayers. Please stop and say a prayer for their family especially during this holiday season to have to endure such a tragic accident.

Thank you so much,

Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay

2009-12-21T11:11:00.001-06:00

Wynter Victoria

2009-12-18T10:58:00.000-06:00

This is Wynter Victoria Guadalupe she was born on November 21, 2009. She is the most precious baby girl ever. I just adore her and love that I get to spend a lot of time with her. Something about loving on a baby makes you feel so good. She has the cutest expressions too, she will smile and make funny faces at the things we are talking about. She went home from the NICU on Wed. December 16th. She is teeny tiny, so it was so much fun to find clothes that fits a person only 4 pounds!!

Her mommy and daddy and I met last Thanksgiving. Her baby brother died and I was their nurse. We became close and when they were pregnant with baby Wynter they called me up and said "We need to come see you, we need to talk to you about something." I was a little worried that something was wrong. However when they showed up, they told me they wanted to name her middle name after my middle name. It was so precious and I was so honored.

Then one day I was working in triage and I got a call from the PPA office, and they said they were sending in a patient for evaluation, because the baby didn't look so good in the office. Once they said the moms name, I told the nurse, you just tell her I am here waiting for her, and things will be ok. They showed up and we got them admitted, and we really really pushed to have the baby delivered. Well they finally decided to deliver her the next morning. I go the call they were going to do a cesarean section, I got to the hospital and was able to prep her and take her back to the operating room. It was an amazing moment when she came out and we heard her cry!! We took a TON of pictures that day, I will try to get some of them to post because they were just great!

I can't wait to watch this baby grow up! I truly have the best job in the world!

ASU Football

2009-12-10T22:53:00.001-06:00

Do you know what happens to a man who has all girls? He raises them to enjoy sports… We have had season tickets to the ASU games forever with our Dad…. I had this collage made for his office. It was a crummy season but we had a lot of fun at the games with our Dad!!

Fly, Fly little wing….

2009-12-08T02:55:00.001-06:00

As many of you know, I work as one of the bereavement counselors at work. Over the course of my 3 years I have met amazing people. I have spent time with couples who had the strength of a million men. I have spent time with couples who felt like they had no air left to breathe. I have mourned the loss of their babies with them.

These couples then leave the hospital and go on to grieve for their babies. We talk on occasion, we get together again for them to pick up their pictures, and again we part ways. There are occasional phone calls or emails, a card mailed here and there to check up on their grief, to make sure they are taking deep breathes, and speaking their babies names…..

Tonight at work there was a candle lighting ceremony for all the babies who have died . The turn out was over whelming, but also unfortunate. It’s unfortunate that we have that many families yearning to hold their babies again some day. Their strength again, amazes me as I listen to them talk about their sweet babies.

As I looked around the room, I saw so many couples who I cared for. I looked at those tear stained faces, and I wanted to scream and cry for these couples. Their pain, their loss is unspeakable. These people who were once strangers to me, my heart now aches for them….

Yet hearing them talk about their treasured pictures and mementos, seeing them moving forward in their grief, it does wonders for me. These precious precious patients and their babies don’t realize how healing they actually are for me. You see as we care for these patients, their loss becomes our loss, their grief becomes our grief. A patient recently said, I don’t know how you do this so often, and I told her, as soon as I walk out of those doors at the end of the night, my heart aches, my tears flow.

So seeing these couples strong, seeing them whether the storm. They give me the strength to come back the next day and take another couple. Many of these couples lives have intertwined with mine now, we have formed great friendships, they have subsequent pregnancies, they have other babies that I get to spend time with.

The other day as I prayed with a couple who’s baby had just died. The grandmother spoke to me, and told me “what you do is more then just your job, this is your ministry.” I will hold onto that for a lifetime, because it was what I needed to hear at the time to continue on for these families and their babies.

For those who weren't there tonight, I want you to know that your sweet babies were in my heart and in my prayers.

Below is a song that was played tonight at the ceremony….. Before you play it, be sure to scroll down and pause my music player.

Fly

Celine Dion

Fly, fly little wing

Fly beyond imagining

The softest cloud, the whitest dove

Upon the wind of heaven's love

Past the planets and the stars

Leave this lonely world of ours

Escape the sorrow and the pain

And fly again

Fly, fly precious one

Your endless journey has begun

Take your gentle happiness

Far too beautiful for this

Cross over to the other shore

There is peace forevermore

But hold this mem'ry bittersweet

Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear

Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear

Your heart is pure, your soul is free

Be on your way, don't wait for me

Above the universe you'll climb

On beyond the hands of time

The moon will rise, the sun will set

But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing

Fly where only angels sing

Fly away, the time is right

Go now, find the light

Random ramblings....

2009-11-29T22:26:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks I have had someone on my mind quite a bit. Little things here and there would remind me of my ex, a certain smell, a tv program, etc. I started to have very vivid dreams about him. Usually when I dream about someone, something transpires from it. I.e. I dreamt that someone dies, and they did I dreamt someone was in trouble, and they had been in trouble etc. Well I finally decided that since I had continued to dream about him and think about him, I would send him an email to check if he was doing ok. BUT I told myself I was going to wait 24 hours before doing so. Well on Tuesday night I have a dream that him and I are dating and I have to go to the dentist for dental work (weird I know, I hate the dentist) well I was there for a few hours at the dentist and he left me there to go to the bar.... (Pretty typical in true life)

So I woke up thinking hmmm this is getting weird. Well through the grapevine I find out that the day before he had his wisdom teeth removed... Ok weird... Maybe not to you but to me after my dentist dream etc. Keep in mind I was still giving myself 24 hours before doing anything.

On my way to Globe I always do tons of thinking, soul searching, praying etc. It's hard not to do when your driving through such a beautiful place, it's so serene. So I keep praying and waiting for an answer or a sign of what to do.

On my way home, I turn on the radio and the radio program I was listening to, they had the EXACT same scenario of why I left him. The girl caught him doing something.

So there you go, there is my answer..... Every once in awhile we forget the bad things that happen to us, and in this case I had.... I forgot what it felt like to catch him in a web of deceitful lies... Listening to the girl talk on the show reminded me why I left.. And also reminded me why I wasn't sending him an email to say hello..

Boy am I glad I abided by my 24 hour rule!!

This is great!! Please do this!!

2009-11-23T17:07:00.001-06:00

www.letssaythanks.com/Home1280.html

Please click on the above link, a card will be sent to someone in the military! It's free, so please click on it and click often!!

Thank you!!

How stunning are these ladies?

2009-11-23T00:39:00.001-06:00

This is my mom and my sister Danielle! They were at the annual Bids for Kids fundraising auction for the Boys & Girls Club! They both look

B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L....

I'm half tempted to tell you all how old my mom is because I bet you wouldn't believe it at all!!! But I don't want her to get mad that I told the world LOL ...

I love you both very much~

Weekend recap

2009-11-15T19:25:00.001-06:00

The grand opening of the Chandler Boys and Girls club is tomorrow! It is a beautiful LEED Certified facility, if your not familiar with that you can get more information by clicking here, so essentially it’s a “GREEN BUILDING” . We spent some time on Saturday in the building and it was a lot of fun, I can’t wait to go spend some time there when it is up and running with the kids! We then went and met my parents for dinner at a restaurant in Chandler called, El Zocalo Mexican restaurant. It was very good, I have the soup, and it was delicious, as well as their margaritas were divine!!!

Today I had some errands to run to get the final touches that my sis needed for her grand opening tomorrow, then I was off to do a little shopping.

Kudo’s to who ever designed the color coded storage totes! I started buying them around Easter, so we packed up all our Easter stuff in light pink, well I went today and bought orange ones for our Halloween stuff. Next year it will be so much easier to get to the bins we need!

Whenever I have a little extra cash and I’m at a store that has baby clothes, I always stop to see what clearance preemie items they have. I try to buy a few outfits or blankets for the RTS patients at work. The preemie sizes are usually great for our 32+ week losses. Walmart sometimes has outfits for as little as $1.00 up to $5.00. SO I purchased a boy and girl outfit today, well at the checkout the lady was oooing and ahhhhing at my tiny baby clothes, and wanted to know how old my babies were. I was at a loss for words, because I made the mistake before of telling someone what they were for, and ended up spending 30 minutes listening to a mom tell me about her loss. Which was fine, but I was in a hurry that day. Anyhow, so if you are ever at a store, and have a little extra cash stop and look for any clearance items for the patients to use, you have no idea how important those precious outfits are to the families in the years to come!

Have a great week!

Wasted time....

2009-11-09T23:05:00.000-06:00

So I FiNaLlY got in to see the Endocrinologist (thyroid specialist) I drove 45 minutes to get to her office, I spent $30.00 for a co-pay, I sat there and filled out a 15 page packet, then was called back to the exam room to wait. The Dr. came in promptly, however she never picked up my 15 page packet of symptoms, and family history etc. She sat down with her laptop and typed away and asked me a few questions.....

I've decided I'm not a fan of the new way offices computer chart, and now I know how some patients must feel when they are trying to give birth and someone is clicking away next to them.. That is the #1 reason I NEVER chart at the bedside, I think it is the rudest thing! I digress, back to my story.....

So she says "Everything looks good, your dr. is on the right track. She is managing your care nicely".......

SO, I say "what about the labs, the nodules, the constant weight gain, fatigue, heart palpitations, excessive thirst, so on and so on. She said that with my thyroid medication is starting to work, however I will have to work hard at my weight loss etc.

She finally got up and touched my thyroid and said "Oh yes, there is something noticable sitting here on your thyroid, maybe we do need a scan." I was thinking "No kidding?"

So then she discussed a few labs she wants me to do. I have to do a 2 hour glucose test tomorrow morning BBBBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, anyone who has had a baby knows how disgusting that is! So after palpation of my thyroid she ordered another batch of tests and wants to see me next week!

What I did!

2009-11-09T22:29:00.000-06:00

Ok so here it was I did, I sent an email on facebook because I thought that was a safe bet. I stated the following:

"I saw on (insert mutual friends name here) site that Hana was sick with myocarditis. You and (fiance name here) must be sick with worry, please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this time."

I've heard nothing in return, which is fine, I don't need a reply or any accolades from him.

However what I do need is prayers for their daughter, she was diagned with Giant Cell Myocarditis and is on the list for a heart. So please add Hana to your prayer list.

Thanks for your prayers and for your advice, I feel so much better about sending the note!

Curly Hair

2009-11-05T21:58:00.001-06:00

So not very many of you know that I have naturally curly hair! I’ve spent the greater part of my life fighting the battle of my curly hair!! For the past 17 years I have dried it straight! I can count on 2 hands how often I have worn it curly in the past 17 years.

Well, one day I was watching Regis and Kelly and they showed a woman with curly hair like mine and she got a haircut by a lady named Ouidad, well she had an entire product line out. Well I spent the past 2 months researching the product, customer reviews, and debating back and forth if I was going to do it or not….

Today was the day, I was sick to my stomach driving to the ONLY salon in Arizona that does this special haircut and style, I sat there in the waiting area texting my bestie, that I was shaking like a leaf, worried…. Then they made me feel completely at ease, and 2 hours later this is my result!

Gorgeous curly hair, it looks like individual ribbons of curl! It is very very soft as well, it isn't a crunchy wet look! The best part about my 2 hour appointment, everything Alberto did to my hair, he had me do it myself, down to showing him the diffusing with with blow dryer, that is why it took 2 hours to cut and style it.
In true life it will take about 15 minutes for me to style it! Before it took 2 hours to do it!!! AND I could never swim at a party with others, there was no quick shower in the middle of the day, etc.. Once I dried my hair straight, I was paranoid about getting it wet!

Well those days are over!!! Yes, every now and again I will still wear it straight......

(This isn’t the best picture as I have no make up on, but tomorrow before my “meeting” I will take some pictures)

a moment of uncertainty….

2009-11-04T02:13:00.001-06:00

Remember a long time ago when I posted this link: The DJ

Well through mutual friends I stumbled upon information that I am not sure what to do with….

You see, The DJ’s fiancé has a daughter, and she is gravely ill. She is so sick, that as I read about her illness and her treatment, I as a nurse knew the prognosis is grim, it’s really heart wrenching.

I have no idea what to do with this information. You see as I stated in that previous post, he and I saw each other through, life, death, cancer of a loved one, weddings, divorces, etc….. That’s what happens when your friends with someone for over 13 years… So now, I feel lost, do I send him an email telling him how sorry I am and that I am praying for them, or do I do nothing?

The Happiest Place on Earth……

2009-10-28T23:45:00.001-05:00

Slide show of our pictures below!

New Boys & Girls club opens Nov. 16 in Chandler

2009-10-26T17:11:00.000-05:00

New Boys & Girls club opens Nov. 16 in Chandler

by Craig Younger - Oct. 23, 2009 11:11 AM
Special for The Republic

On Nov. 16, the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley and Chandler will officially dedicate the new 32,000-square-foot club that will help serve the recreational needs of Chandler youth.

The facility for the Chandler Compadre branch of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley is at 300 E. Chandler Blvd. It includes two gymnasiums, meeting rooms, multipurpose rooms, teen center, game room, arts room, office space and shared space for other non-profit groups and the world's largest Intel Computer Clubhouse.

The celebration is open to the public and begins at 5 p.m. A dedication ceremony will feature Chandler Mayor Boyd W. Dunn, representatives of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley and the Chandler Compadres.

The festivities, which will include entertainment presented by members of the club, tours of the facility, and food and beverages, conclude by 8 p.m.

The Compadre branch has been at its current location since 1983. The site was home to Seton Catholic High School from 1953 to 1983.

Dunn said the new club "is the culmination of years of hard work and the fulfillment of many promises to the children of Chandler. Every member of the community who has supported this organization over the years, especially those who voted to build this facility, deserve a pat on the back, and I hope they all have an opportunity to visit and see the fruits of their labor."

"The people of Chandler have built the children of their community a facility that exceeds all our hopes and dreams," said Ramon Elias, president and CEO of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley. "We could not succeed without the support of the city of Chandler and our partners, including the Compadres and Intel. And we are committed to using this facility to continue to build the character of the children in our care and give them the support they need to realize their own dreams."

In keeping with the city's new Green Building Program, the facility will be certified through the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) Green Building Rating System.

http://www.azcentral.com/community/chandler/articles/2009/10/23/20091023cr-boysgirls1023.html#

(Please click on the link to the article and post a comment about how wonderful this is, or read the comments and comment back to the ignorant man who commented negatively about the club and kids and racist comments)

Library

2009-10-23T03:28:00.000-05:00

My new secret obsession...... Since my computer has been broken I have become obsessed with the LIBRARY!! And to take it a step further, reading and listening to books on CD. Yesterday I went to the library 2 times! I know it sounds crazy, but think back to being young when you were in elementary school. Do you remember when your class would go to the library and you'd be able to pick out books. It is such a great feeling!! I love to browse the titles and see what new books are there, are what classics are sitting on the shelves. The library even has a certain classic smell to it!! I just love it!!!

Even Carrie Bradshaw talks about the love of the library! The idea of the book has a whole life of it's own, someone somewhere has had this book before it's sorta cool to think about!

I just love it at the library, and I don't understand why anyone would want to BUY a book when you could go check out a book from the library for free!! I've started a new series, the in death series by J.D. Robb aka Nora Roberts. I'm obsessed with reading these books and since last Tuesday, I have now read/listened (depending on what copy the library had available) The first 4 books in the series!! You figure, I just saved $45.00 alone in "renting" these books!!

Oh, and I have a new secret love of my life, Rourke... I know he's out there somewhere, Irish accent and all......

Man of the year

2009-10-06T01:28:00.001-05:00

This is a picture of my father and our family (missing Bethany) after he was awarded the Man of the Year by Fresh Start Women’s Foundation. www.wehelpwomen.com

The award was given by the East Valley branch of the organization. They have an East Valley Executive Council who decided that they would like to begin a new award in the East Valley for a Man and Woman of the Year.

Their criteria included the following:
1. Resident or business is located in the East Valley
2. Has significantly contributed to helping women in the East Valley through (minimum of 2 of these criteria must be met):
a. Demonstrated outstanding leadership and vision;
b. Introduced new and innovative ways to assist women;
c. Committed significant volunteer time to a cause that supports women within the last year;
d. Provided significant monetary investment to FSWF or another cause that supports women;
e. Served as the spokesperson for helping women;
f. Instituted policy change through advocacy;
g. Created collaborative partnerships to accomplish goals.

It was a great event and thanks to Angie C. at work, I was able to attend!! :)

This is hilarious!!

2009-09-30T01:41:00.001-05:00

OMG so I am looking up midwives in Arizona and on this website someone wrote a book and listed 101 reasons not to have a baby at a hospital, well I have to share some of the reasons with you because they totally make me laugh out loud!!

Here are just a few of the reasons not to deliver at a hospital!!

24 You don't like pain.

47 You don't want to ride in a car during labor.

57 You don't want your pubic area shaved.

58 You don't want an enema.

80 You don't want to endorse the machinery of holocaust.

81 You don't want your child to become a drug addict.

82 You don't want your child to become a criminal.

83 You don't want your child to become violent.

84 You don't want your child to become a schizophrenic.

85 You don't want your child to become a victim of child abuse.

86 You don't want your child to commit suicide.

87 You don't want your baby to die from SIDS.

90 You want to breastfeed your baby.

91 You don't want your breasts to be overdistended.

92 You don't want to have a preterm baby.

100 You don't want to eat hospital food.

101 You'd rather be shopping.

Picture perfect memories

2009-09-28T16:55:00.001-05:00

(don’t forget to go to the bottom and pause my music player so you can hear this song)

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor, reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time.

This is one of my all time favorite songs.... I listen to it a million times a day because who hasn't been there? Wondering if you ever cross someone's mind? But what I love most about this song, is it starts out "picture perfect memories" well the truth is there really aren't picture perfect memories, but somewhere in our minds when the relationship is over, what we remember are perfect memories. We some how forget the bad stuff, how? Why?

After I left the Detroit Drink, I had journaled exactly what I was feeling so that I would remember that feeling, the feeling of being completely destroyed after putting all your faith in someone, all your trust, all your love.... But the funny thing is there are still times when I miss the little things that only we shared. There are times were I have to remind myself what he did to me.

Someone else I'm close to keeps giving their ex a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th chance and I keep wondering why, but then I realize that is the way women are, they forget just how bad it was and remember how good it was.

It’s sad that we forget the bad stuff…… Perhaps it’s better that way?

Old blogging site

2009-09-25T15:54:00.001-05:00

Thursday, 08 November 2007

Yay for good deliveries!! I had a good night at work last night, we were really busy and I had a happy healthy delivery! I actually enjoyed work last night and I worked with great people.. Well we leave in a week to Michigan! I'm anxious and excited at the same time. I need to start getting things ready so I know what to take and what not. We'll be gone for 8 days, and it will be FREEZING compared to Arizona weather.

The sleep has been so so it's still hard to adjust so we'll see what happens... My friend was discharged last week sent home on bed rest. She's doing good and so is that precious baby. They did an ultrasound when she was there, the baby is beautiful I love the new ultrasounds!

Things have been good with me and Brian, no complaints. We didn't go out on Halloween, we actually both weren't feeling to well so we took a nap and woke up and it was practically time to go back to sleep LOL.. Oh well there is always next year, I was just glad to be there spending time with him....

ASU lost on Saturday :( so sad...

Ok, so yeah, I guess this is all for my current update, I know that isn't too exciting, Brian and I are here watch Jeff Dunhum, so I will write more tomorrow when I'm alone!

Another old post from my old blog

2009-09-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Amazed

Last night was a interesting night! I had a patient that was flown to our hospital from another city, the city is known for it's upperclass people who live differently, let's just say it's a very "plastic city" anyhow she was being flown to us because I was told she was drunk and contracting.

Upon admission I was told she was term (36 weeks) after an ultra sound we found out she is really only 29 weeks!! Seriously how do you think your 2 months further then you really are? She was drunk as a skunk! She smelt so bad of alcohol that I was actually gagging when she would breathe on me or talk to me... Now in Arizona the legal blood alcohol limit is 0.0 - 0.8. Well get this, her blood alcohol level was .442 yes, I said .442! Amazing, and of course this was the irst time she has ever drank alcohol before... Right!

I signed up for her because I figured, that I deal with people who are detoxing all the times at the jail. What I failed to remember was I'm in a different environment. At the jail I have standing orders to medicate the patients that have dt's, at the hospital, it doesn't work that way! She just had to suffer, my goal was to stop her contracting. However she was a maniac up and down out of the bed, trembling, dry mouth, gagging, diarrhea you name it she was doing it!

Her husband was high as a kite on something too, his pupils were pin point and his eyes were glazed over and red, and he would stumble down the hallway!

Well of course we live in wonderful Arizona and there is nothing you can do about this situation other then try to educate the family. So when she was complaining about her shaking and what not, I kindly pointed out "If you feel like this how do you think the baby feels?" It was apparent by the fetal strip the kiddo was having issues as well!

God help that baby!

So I had no problem staying up. I worked with a girl from evenings who I really like until 0200. And the "Boys" were on so that was fun. There are 2 brothers that are OR Scrub Tech's (they assist in surgery, so when Dr. says "scalpel" they hand it over etc) So we sat around and chatted it was fun. I didn't leave until after 0700. On the way home I stopped and bought Benadryl. I got home and took 2 and laid down! I slept nonstop until a little after 1400. I'm still tired I think I'm
going to lay down again!

I don't think I'll take 2 Benadryl tomorrow morning, we'll stick to just 1..

Article about my sister and father!!!

2009-09-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

EAST VALLEY Father and daughter Live a life of community service
Boys and Girls Club Leaders Make Lasting Impact on the Community

TEMPE, Ariz– September 17, 2009 – Ramon Elias has been a staple in the non-profit community for over 37 years. He has served as the President and CEO of the East Valley Boys and Girls club for 13 of those years. During this time he and his wife, Mima has raised a family of 4 daughters, instilling an attitude of service in all of them. Eldest daughter Mindy Elias has followed in her fathers footsteps, she is the Branch Executive for the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley’s Compadre Branch. Both father and daughter will be honored for their commitment to the community at two separate events.

Mindy Elias has been chosen as one of the Arizona Hispanic Chamber of Commerce’s Top 40 Under 40. The Top 40 Hispanic Leaders Under 40 Luncheon will be held Wednesday, September 23 at the Arizona Biltmore Resort. The Chamber selected the top 40 key Hispanic business and community leaders for making significant contributions to the greater good of the community. These individuals best exemplify the integration of their best practices and support the community by contributing to society in ways that are an inspiration to others and use resources and creativity to enrich our community.

Elias, a former club member herself, has taken the reins at the East Valley’s largest Boys and Girls Club.

“My parents instilled a sense of service in all of us, it feels so good to work with these kids everyday and to know I’m making an impact in another person’s life. To be recognized by the Arizona Hispanic Chamber is such an honor it also gives me the opportunity to take some of the kids to the event to show them what other successful Hispanic leaders are doing in their communities”, said Elias. In addition to working in the non-profit sector, Mindy is involved with Arizona Cactus Pine Girl Scouts. She has volunteered with the House of Refuge East, Polytechnic Elementary School and Willis Junior High in Chandler and is a Young Life supporter.

Ramon Elias, President and CEO of the East Valley Boys and Girls Club be honored as Man of the Year by Fresh Start Women’s Resource Center on October 1 at 6:30 p.m. Villa Siena, 890 W. Elliot Rd. Gilbert.

Ramon was instrumental in helping Fresh Start Women’s services establish their East Valley presence. The organization is currently using the Gilbert branch of the Boys and Girls club as well as Gilbert Elementary School. The model is working well and could be expanded to include other East Valley Boys and Girls clubs. The Boys and Girls clubs are a natural fit as they are serving youth while Fresh Start Women’s Resource Center serves the mothers of those children as well as other mothers.

Ramon is also a lifetime member of the Chandler Compadres. “I am so honored to have been selected by the Fresh Start Women’s Center for their first annual award. I am also very proud of Mindy and her dedication to the youth of Chandler and her recognition from the Arizona Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.”

About the Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley
The Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley (www.clubzona.org) serves more than 30,000 children and teens annually, and continues to grow to meet the needs of today’s youth, providing a positive place for all kids and teens. Serving members in Apache Junction, Chandler, Gilbert, Guadalupe, Mesa, Tempe, Queen Creek, and the Gila River Indian Community, programs are offered after school and during the summer and provide youth and teens, ages 6 – 18, with fun and educational activities, supervised by professional staff. The organization also runs Mesa Arts Academy, a K-8 charter school. The Boys & Girls Clubs of the East Valley’s annual membership fee is only $20 dollars a year and financial assistance is available. No child is ever turned away if they are unable to pay the fee. www.clubzona.org

About Fresh Start
Fresh Start is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping women help themselves. We do that through the work of the Jewell McFarland Lewis-Fresh Start Women’s Resource Center, the first comprehensive Center offering quality services to women seeking self-improvement.

Wedding Planning

2009-09-21T02:10:00.001-05:00

Well we are just shy of 6 months from the wedding!! The planning has been fun, there is so much that goes into planning a wedding, well that is IF you want a nice wedding. Of course we have read ~~hundreds~~ MILLIONS of bride magazines and things are coming together beautifully!!

Well we’ve also watched lots of “Say yes to the dress” episodes! I NEVER could understand WHY anyone would want a dress that was thousands of dollars.. However, now I have an entirely new appreciation for the dresses that cost that much. We had a lovely experience at a swanky bridal gown place in Scottsdale. We had one on one service and the gowns were gorgeous. Then later in the afternoon we decided we’d stop into the local bridal salon that is always advertising bridal gown sales, well after waiting over45 minutes for someone to help us, we were crammed into a small corner to try on dresses along with EVERY other person in Phoenix that day! The difference between a few thousand dollars and a few hundred dollars is AMAZING!!! Remember that commercial, the touch, the feel, the fabric of our lives? LOL That is so true when it comes to the feel of a good gown! Now I no longer judge those who pay a lot of money for a fabulous gown, because now I can’t see purchasing anything less.

Well this past weekend we went to a place called Twirl and tried on bridesmaid dresses, it was a fun experience (within reason) Needless to say after trying on over 20 dresses, we found ours for the big event! They will be made and shipped within a few months, how exciting is that, our dresses will be made especially for each one of us! AND it will be a dress I will wear again some day, it is gorgeous! I wish I was allowed to put up a sneak peak to show you all, but I will make you wait the 6 months!!!

Save the dates just came in this week and the kids will be mailing those out this week!! Once those go out I can post a picture of them!

It’s getting more and more exciting as the time draws closer!

Here is the link to the precious couples website: http://www.zackandbethany.com/

Memory Monday

2009-09-21T01:40:00.000-05:00

The back of the picture says Jan. 1978, which would make me 4 months old!

Abercrombie & Fitch pitches new trashy T-shirts to America's youth

2009-09-11T02:35:00.000-05:00

Send an email to Abercrombie and Fitch. Ask them to pull their sexualized shirts.

Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) continues its pattern of pushing pornographic-themed material into mainstream America. Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) has just begun offering their "New College" line of T-shirts.

The first A&F t-shirt pictures a young girl opening her blouse - exposing herself. A&F titles the image: "Show the Twins".

The second picture is of a female running nude. A&F titles it: "Female streaking encouraged."

The next Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt is entitled: "Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research"

Abercrombie & Fitch does not merely sell a popular line of clothing – they sell a lifestyle. And because A&F clothing is popular among teens and college kids, the influence of their sex-as-recreation lifestyle is widespread.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention reports that Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year— almost half of them among young people 15 to 24 years of age.

TAKE ACTION

Send an email to Abercrombie and Fitch. Ask them to pull their sexualized shirts.

After sending your email, call A&F at 614-283-6500 (press "0" to speak directly to a real person).

AND TO THINK WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD BE SAYING TO SCHOOL CHILDREN!!!

Faith

2009-09-11T02:24:00.000-05:00

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

Humane Humanity

2009-09-09T12:16:00.001-05:00

I need a hero…..

2009-09-09T00:39:00.001-05:00

On Saturday I received a talking to by my father about the type of men I date, and his take on them. Ooooohhh let me tell you how much fun it was having that talk at the age of 32. He of course feels I have never brought home anyone worthy of being in my life. Well I am sure he just feels that way because he is the dad and of course no man will ever be good enough for his girl.

However in a matter of just 2 days later I am having a conversation with a few friends at different times, and I am told that I am “PICKY” I was told that perhaps if I wasn’t so picky with the men in my life that I wouldn’t be single. I was also told that I am very intimidating to men.

So my father thinks I date just anyone or anything and my friends who know me very well think I’m picky…. Interesting……

YES, I have met some pretty great guys in my life, and yes there are 2 that I can now say I should have married when the opportunity presented instead of walking away. However I view marriage as a one time thing. I will get married only 1 time in my life, so I want it to be with the right man. I can’t see myself getting married just for the sake of getting married, I’m not desperate.

I want to marry the person who is all those things on my God List that I pray for daily. Of course it would help if he liked sports and dogs, however I’m ok waiting.

(Pause my music player below so you can watch the video)

Update

2009-09-08T23:55:00.001-05:00

Some of you may remember back to my posting a few months ago click here about my thyroid issue. Well after finding multiple nodules and diagnosing me with hashimoto’s , I went to have my biopsy and as I lay on the table, the radiologist spent what felt like an eternity looking at my thyroid and said “I don’t think it looks worthy of biopsying, I think your ok.” What a sigh of relief that was back then. I truly felt the power of prayer at work that day. Something that was measuring 3cm’s and was causing crummy side effects, had almost diminished.

Well in early August I wasn’t feeling so well so I went to have more lab work. I waited patiently for 22 days for my doctor to call me back with the results. Finally I decided I was calling the lab and getting the results myself. Well boy was that a BAD idea!!! The results were less then desirable. There were 2 things that stood out, the first is a count that should be <35 and mine registered at over >1000 and the second bad one was the count that is indicative of cancer that should be <45 and mine was reading >650.

I called my doctor and sat on hold for over 1 hour, I quickly changed physicians and called to make an appointment with the new doctor, after explaining the situation, they agreed to see me at 0800 the next day! I was VERY impressed by this new group of physicians. Incidentally I met her while she was in labor, and was impressed with her coping skills so decided I would try her out.

Sorry I’m getting off track. Well I only shared this a handful of my friends and my family. Mostly because I was scared. Usually I will just joke about things like this, that is how I cope. But for the first time in my life, I was scared. I just sobbed one night, because I don’t want to be sick, I don’t want to have surgery, I didn’t want to be on someone’s prayer list. (my friend added me to their list, I am now grateful)

Since that night, I gave it to the Lord, I have left it in his hands. I have prayed and prayed and worshiped through song that this be healed yet again.

Well now we are back to waiting, we are waiting for lab results and an ultrasound report. I am being referred to an amazing endocrinologist, that comes highly recommended by MANY nurses at work.

I thought it was time to finally share where I am in my life at this point. I PROMISE I will keep you updated as things transpire.

2009-09-08T23:20:00.000-05:00

Chicken Asparagus Bake

3 boneless chicken breasts

1 bunch of asparagus

1/2 cup chicken broth

2 tablespoons chopped onion

Dash of paprika

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Dice asparagus

Place chicken, asparagus and onions in baking pan, pour broth in pan

Season with salt and pepper

Bake for 45 minutes

Sprinkle paprika on chicken and broil for 10 minutes, just long enough to give chicken some color.

Serve with salad and a fruit.

**A "normal" chicken breast serving is 4 ounces, 1 chicken breast is 2 servings. Also this is a great meal for those on HCG.

True Meaning of Labor Day

2009-09-08T13:19:00.001-05:00

Labor Day

NOUN:

The first Monday in September, observed as a holiday in the United States and Canada in honor of working people

Patriotism

NOUN:

Love of and devotion to one's country.

Labor Day: How it Came About; What it Means

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

As referenced by the US Department of Labor US DOL website

So with that being said, why do people try to tie patriotism to Labor day? You're not being patriotic by celebrating Labor day, you're not being patriotic for working on labor day.

We celebrated my birthday on Labor Day and when we went to purchase a cake for the party, all the cakes were Red, White and Blue. We were perplexed because WHY, do people ignorantly tie it to a “Patriotic holiday”

Labor Day is an annual holiday celebrated all over the world that resulted from the labor union movement, to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers. The majority of countries celebrate Labor Day on May 1, and it is popularly known as May Day and International Workers' Day, while some celebrate on the first Monday of September.

The celebration of Labor Day has its origins in the eight hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest.

I am all for celebrating America, and Patriotism, especially because of our brother, who’s a Marine that fought for OUR country in a war.

HOWEVER it makes us look very ignorant that we tie this holiday to patriotism!

Another post from the past

2009-09-07T13:34:00.000-05:00

Friday, 12 October 2007

Ok, So I figured I should tell you a little bit more about me. I am 30, I am a Labor and Delivery Nurse in a Level 3 facility, so we care for moms/babies as young as 24 weeks gestation! This job has changed my life, and my outlook on many many things. Watching a family long for a baby will really change your view on certain issues. I also work part time at the Maricopa County Jails, as a Psych nurse, I love Psych nursing, it is great, and it has also helped me to learn mental illness is a disease just like cancer, diabetes, and alcoholism.

I have an amazing family, my parents are still together, I have 3 sisters, one who lives 734 miles to be exact, away from us! My younger sister and I just drove to San Jose to visit her last week! It was a fun time!

I'm going to go to ASU to pursue my degree further. I would like to be a Womens Health Nurse Practitioner someday. I have a boyfriend named Brian, we have been together for only 6 months. We have ups and downs... We are very different and yet sometimes exactly the same. Sometimes we want the same thing out of life and others we want the opposite. It's hard to know where things are moment to moment.. I know that sounds negative but it's not as negative as it sounds.

I believe the intent of this Xanga will be to share about work, I have a job that has no out, no way to vent etc. and there are some days that you need to share what you can to help stabilize yourself. Below is a poem, perhaps it will give you a look into my world of nursing!

What Will You Take?
By Karen Roush, MSN, FNP, RN

Will you take the newborn's cries,
the toddler giggling though tears?
All the curses thrown through
whiskeyed breath, the blood spots
on your clothes? The coffee breaks
you never took, the end-of-shift reports?
The egos and the maniacs, the stat
requests, the orders left, the monitors
going off across the room?

Will you take the husband's gesture,
reaching for her hand, when he's told
that after loving her 47 years,
his wife will never recognize him,
nor remember their children's names?

And what about the toddler
with the iron branded on his back,
its blistered rows of steam holes
weeping through the gauze?
Will you take his screams of "Mama"
when the police remove her from the room?

You must take the first Code Red,
the run through the halls,
people stepping back
to press against the walls.
The crack of ribs,
the litany
of atropine and epi,
the lungs pushing against the Ambu bag,
the heart leaping
against your hands.

And the woman with the flawless face;
you can't leave her behind. The way
she applied her makeup, perfectly,
only hours after surgery
that took both her breasts.

Don't forget the nine-month-old
with yellow skin, waiting for the liver.
Or how beautiful snow is when seen
from windows of the ICU
on Christmas Eve.

Will you take the words you found,
that first day on the floor, when the doc
pronounced-There's nothing more to do-
then promptly left the room.
Take one last look now back down that hall.
Your shift is done and others wait to take report.

2009-09-06T15:16:00.001-05:00

It's almost game time!!!

2009-09-05T02:16:00.000-05:00

Old blogging site

2009-09-05T01:28:00.000-05:00

How weird is this? I signed into an old Xanga account and realized I used to blog somewhere else... I blogged a lot actually... A lot about my relationship with The Detroit Drunk! I started to delete the entries, then I decided I was going to post some of them here, WOW what a different place I was in...

Friday, 12 October 2007

First Post

So after a year of being intrigued by someone else's xanga, and a little nudging from my sister I figured I would start my own xanga. Sure my life may not be action packed, with interesting things people are dying to read, but I have some interesting encounters in my line of work and sometimes it would be good to share with others. So we'll see how this turns out.

Tonight will be my 2nd shift on the night shift. I worked my first over night pm Wed. it was a piece of cake, mostly because Jami was there. She is 90% of the reason I am on nights, we were on evenings together and then decided we'd go to nights together! Well it is so much nicer working with a friend that will watch your strip for you, ask you if you need help, or offer to grab you a drink when your busy in a room! Steff does all that with me on evenings, so now I'm recruiting her for nights! Anyhow, the greatest part of my night was sitting there being bored, because I had an Antepartum patient (a patient we are trying to keep pregnant) and the 2 big doors click open, and I look up, and it was Brian (my boyfriend) It was maybe 0130 in the morning! He had a transport to the Peds unit so he stopped by to surprise me, and boy was it a surprise! Brian is a Paramedic. So I got off yesterday and was home by 0700, I slept from 0800-1100 and then I was wide awake! I just milled around the house, I cleaned up a bit and I met Heather at Red Fish for happy hour. Went back home and made dinner for Brian and I. He worked a 36 hour so he got off at 1930 and so he stopped over after work and we ate tacos and spanish rice and watched the Diamondbacks lose ugh!

Anyhow, so I slept today until 0930, and now I'm up wide awake, I may get ready and run some errands and then try to nap a little later. I work Friday/Saturday/Sunday! YIKES!!

Oh heavens……..

2009-09-04T00:18:00.001-05:00

I am so behind on blogging….. I missed Thankful Thursdays last week, Memory Monday this week, Trading Tuesday and now it’s time for Thankful Thursday again…………….

Well……… Some day I will get to all of those…. Here is what is new.. We went to Nogales for Meches funeral it was nice, what was really neat to see was all the special need adults that she took care of that were once special needs children. How wonderful that these adults had a better life because she cared for them!

I had a great time with my sister, we literally laughed ourselves silly the entire way there and back… I actually can not wait until her and I get to take another road trip together!!

It was fun to be there alone with our parents, we never do things the 4 of us, so that was a nice change of pace. Here is a picture of me with my mom and uncle! Isn’t my mom hot? You would never guess she was the mother of a 34 year old now would you?

After our trip I worked a lot of the week. Nothing too exciting though! I had a great week with some great patients though! I love my job, I am so lucky to do what I do! I have met a lot of new friends through my job, friends that started out as patients that are now friends.

Soo, 32 year ago my mom gave birth to me at the SAME hospital I work at now! How cool is that? Today I spent the day in a NRP instructor course because I’m going to begin teaching NRP! After class my parents and I went out to dinner, we had a nice time!

In just 2 more days, it is ASU Kick off time… That deserves a whole post of it’s own… :)

Saturday will be spent doing ASU festivities and celebrating my birthday! Then on Monday we are going to celebrate with the rest of the family….

Can I mention AGAIN how excited I am that it’s almost game time?!?!?! WOOOOOOOOO

On the road again

2009-08-26T19:49:00.001-05:00

My parents, older sister and I are headed to Nogales for yet another funeral......

I'm planning to take pictures this time so people can see what Nogales looks like, because it's a pretty decent place!!!

Trading Tuesday on Wed :)

2009-08-26T14:54:00.001-05:00

Recently, I took dessert to a friends house for dinner. She was always searching for this cake at work, and so I thought I’d make it for her. She and her son have a lot of allergies, so this cake worked out great, because I bought a cake mix that contained no milk! This cake is one of my favorite cakes ever!!!

Pineapple Upside Down Cake!

1/4 cup butter or margarine

1 cup packed brown sugar

1 can (20 oz) pineapple slices in juice, drained, juice reserved

1 jar (6 oz) maraschino cherries without stems, drained

1 box yellow cake mix

Vegetable oil and eggs called for on cake mix box

Directions:

Melt the butter in the microwave, poor in the bottom of a 13x9-inch pan. Sprinkle brown sugar evenly on bottom of pan. Arrange pineapple slices on top of brown sugar. Place maraschino cherries inside the rings of the pineapples.

Add enough water to reserved pineapple juice to measure the water needed for the cake mix. Make cake batter as directed on box, pour batter over pineapple and cherries.

Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Immediately run knife around side of pan to loosen cake. Place heatproof serving plate upside down onto pan; turn plate and pan over. Leave pan over cake 5 minutes so brown sugar topping can drizzle over cake; remove pan. Cool 30 minutes. Serve warm or cool. Store covered in refrigerator.

Memory Monday

2009-08-24T02:21:00.001-05:00

Here is a picture of Mini D, and our 2 baby cousins! The baby in the carrier is our Godson!

Thankful Thursdays!

2009-08-20T14:57:00.001-05:00

This week I am thankful for my mother. I have an amazing mother. I think everyone says that but my mother is unique in many ways.

She knew when she was younger she wanted to be a stay at home mother,it’s in her DNA to be a nurturer and to take care of her babies.

Growing up she always packed our lunches, and it would be something wonderful, it was nothing prepackaged! She would include little notes to us in our lunch boxes! She would pack my frozen Hi-C in tin foil, so by lunch time we’d have a delicious slushy treat!

She would make sure at the end of each day we did our homework, and she was always willing to help with our homework, even if it meant drawing a poster for us, (which later won an award! We felt so guilty)

When we were little she took care of us, one time in a store a lady pushed one of us, and the next thing I know, I hear my mom saying “Listen lady, your rude,” She didn’t allow us to be pushed around by anyone!

She ALWAYS had dinner on the table at the end of the day as well. We ALWAYS sat as a family at the dinner table and ate together and talked!

During summers, she would plan fun outings for us. We had a reward system, and she had a “little store” where we could buy pencil sets, and fun little trinkets with our “earned” money for our good behavior and helping with chores.

As we got older she was the “Liaison” between us and our dad. When he didn’t understand his teenage daughters, she would “soften” him up for us so he would understand our point of view!

As we became adults, she became a confidant, a friend, she has become even more then a mother!

This week and always I am thankful for a mother, that is so selfless, she sits vigil at the bedside yet again as a loved one is dying.

HER 4 girls are wonderful girls because of who SHE is!

Wayyy behind on trading Tuesday!!

2009-08-20T14:15:00.001-05:00

Mama's Homemade Chicken Soup!

2 Chicken Breasts

3 Green onions(diced)

3 Medium celery stalks (diced)

1 Carrot (sliced)

1 cup corn or corn on the cob

3/4 cups rice

1 Small can tomato sauce

1-2 tablespoons Knorrs Bouillon
Salt and Pepper
Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon Corn Starch

Directions:

Boil chicken in water, about 1 hour until done. Cool and shred and set aside.

In a soup pot, add a little olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan and add onions, celery and carrots. Saute for a few minutes. Add corn starch, and coat the vegetables. Sprinkle salt and pepper on vegetables.

Add water to fill 3/4 of the pot.

Bring to a boil.
Add chicken and tomato sauce. Bring to a boil again.

Add rice, Knorrs bouillon and corn. Bring to a boil again.

Let it slow boil for about 1/2 hours until rice is cooked.

Disclaimer:
You will need to taste and season accordingly once done, you might need to add more knorrs or salt and pepper. Also, if it is too thick, just add more water and more knorrs and salt and pepper.

This is the best soup ever! When I was in HS, a friend made my mom right down the recipe because she wanted to start making it herself. As well as just the other night a friend of our special requested this meal from my mom. This is true comfort food!!

Vent about guys......

2009-08-20T05:44:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to vent and say how ~~idiotic~~ STUPID (and that is a strong word in our family, because we’re not allowed to call people stupid) people are that allow themselves to be controlled by others…

More so guys that allow their significant others to dictate who they can and can not talk to. I grew up with boys, I have always had better male relationships, because I am more like “one of the guys”, that fun girl to hang out with etc.. (perhaps that’s why I’m single?) Anyhow, I don’t mean to digress……

There is a guy I knew for YEARS, about 13 years and when he started dating a certain someone she was hell bent on ending our friendship because she didn’t like that he was that close to someone else.

There is another guy who I knew about the same length of time, he lived in another state, we still were very very close, and would talk ALL the time… Well once he started dating this girl (who incidentally looks exactly like me) she didn’t like the friendship either. It was so bad that on the night before our mutual friends wedding when all the “Guys” went out, I of course went with them, well my buddies girl friend “S” flipped out and called him 1 million times… He had to “go home” to the hotel because he wasn’t allowed to be out with all of us if I was there. Ridiculous! Well 3 kids and several years later in their marriage I finally get the call one day “Ummm I can’t talk to you ever again” WOW that caught me by surprise!!

Then there is another one who I knew for even longer then the others.. Well HIS wife banned him from having any friends, male or female!!! I kept in contact with a mutual friend from the Marines, and he told me he had to call him while he was at work because his crazy wife wouldn’t allow R to talk to him! I once sent R an email and shortly after his Myspace and Facebook pages became R and J pages instead of just their own individual pages…..

One guy that I used to be close with the last few years, would never tell his main squeeze that he was meeting me for lunch or drinks!! For the fear she’d flip out?!? Who knows but it’s the same thing, I was the “secret” friend!!

So your probably thinking, well Miss B, you must be some kind of threat… Nope, not so much, I just have better male relationships, I have fun with guys, I’m just a go camping, drink a beer, hoot and holler at a football game kinda girl, I grew up in a neighborhood of , boys, it’s just how I am hardwired…

Soooooooo I just don’t get it at all!!

Oprah Show today

2009-08-18T17:44:00.000-05:00

I'm not an Oprah fan AT ALL... I hate her show and how she is a one upper LOL however today I was flipping channels and the subject was eating healthy! Which has been a big thing for me lately. We are trying alternative methods of eating in our house to start being healthy.

I think people think if they are not over weight they don't need to worry, about health WRONG!!!

Here are some facts from the show:

1. People who skip breakfast altogether are 450 percent more likely to become overweight.

2. Things like 'multigrain' only means there are different grains used. They may still be refined grains. 'Whole grain' is much better.

3. It takes about 12 exposures to a taste for kids to finally say, 'You know what, I think that's okay.

4. On average, children consume 450 calories a day from beverages alone—nearly twice as many as 30 years ago. Fruit juices average 120 calories a glass, sodas average 150 calories a can and shakes average about 700 calories.

5. You need to stop eating Enriched Flour (Enriched) means they took all the good stuff out and put a little back. In 1960, Americans didn't use enriched flour, but today we consume 63 pounds a year.

6. Stop eating white foods.... White foods—including bleached flour. The only white items you should have in your fridge are egg whites, cauliflower and fish.

7. Keep in mind—polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats are good for you and help fight depression.

8. 50 percent of the sugar we eat comes from "fat free" foods like salad dressings and soft drinks. In fact, young women get about half their daily calories from salad dressing!

9. The number one predictor of how long you're going to live is how well you can exercise your heart.

10. A simple change from 2 percent milk to 1 to skim, and 100 calories a day is over 10 pounds a year.

Here are a few ways we have changed our habits in our house:

We now have breakfast daily. We have a protein shake with 1 cup of skim milk and 1 1/2 cups of fruit.

We eat ground turkey instead of red meats, and usually no one knows I made the substitution.

We have healthy snacks that are easy to grab; string cheese, salt free peanuts, fat free yogurt, and lots of fruit.

We are drinking at least 72 ounces of water a day.

Memory Monday

2009-08-18T04:15:00.001-05:00

WOW does time change things!!!!

12/17/2007

This is a picture of one of the Crawford brothers and I at their house, in Tempe! As you can see we were being silly making Smiles, which are smiley face shaped mashed potatoes at 0316 in the AM!!!!

Friends

2009-08-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

I have some incredible friends who stick by me through good times and bad, and who don't toss me aside when someone else comes along, and who don't jump to conclusions! I have friends that are truly concerned about my well being, and are helping me to find part time work. I have some great friends that start my morning off with a text each day to see how I am, I have one friend who I can send lengthy emails to about anything and he's supportive.... You know who you are, so Thank you to those of you who are standing beside me during these crummy times!!!!

Life

2009-08-13T16:19:00.001-05:00

So I tried to return to nights to help offset the household finances now that my sister has gone to grad school we aren’t charging her as much to live here. Well working nights was about an extra $800 a month!!

I found someone who wanted to switch to evenings and we proposed the switch to the powers that be and we were denied.

As a result I have been looking for part time work. Not just in nursing either, I’ve applied at the Walgreens as well. I wouldn’t mind doing something that is easy, something that isn’t a life or death situation!!

My options are obtain part time work here in Az. or accept a travel assignment out of state and work 3 days out of state and come home and work 4 days here and then 3 there etc etc. I figured if I could do that for 12 weeks I could make roughly 12-15k depending on bonuses etc.

I’d prefer to find something part time and stay here. So if anyone knows of any part time work please let me know!! As I said it doesn’t have to be nursing!

Thankful Thursdays

2009-08-13T03:54:00.001-05:00

So my friend Tracy started doing Thankful Thursdays and so I decided to follow suit! HOWEVER, I have a million things that pop into my head when I think of what I am thankful for. So I decided I would do it week specific.

Something I am thankful for this week is for a 30 year plus friendship with someone. My crazy, fun, curly haired friend has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

When I try to remember things from my past where she was involved, I remember the play she was in, in high school. I remember watching her feed her toddler enzymes in applesauce so she could eat. I remember watching her do CPT treatments on her while she lay on the couch. I remember having a sleep over the night my baby sister was born. I remember visiting her very ill daughter in the hospital. I remember her being strong at her daughters funeral. I remember her welcoming me on my first day at work as a Labor and Delivery nurse! I remember standing beside her as we feared the worst regarding her fathers brain tumor!

She is someone who I truly have been to hell and back with. Someone who I can be honest with and tell her things I’m thinking, no matter how horrible they are and know that she’s not going to call to get me committed!!!

We can call each other in tears, and end up laughing, we can call each other at weird hours, and text at all hours!

She is someone who people used to have to do a double take at work because if I wore my hair curly or she wore hers straight, watch out we looked like the Bobbsey twins! And ironically we’d always wear the same color scrubs!!

She is someone who I can share my faith with, and my fear of my faith with. She is someone who understands my family dynamics, and the importance of my mother and father. She understands the bond of sisters.

I am so thankful for my special friend. She has been there for me tremendously, and the odd thing is, she doesn’t even realize how therapeutic our talks are!

She is the one whose life is in peril right now, and she still manages to lend her shoulder.

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

Trading Tuesday

2009-08-11T03:44:00.001-05:00

Fruit Kabob

Ok this one is a simple SIMPLE recipe, however as I have said before, I know of a few people out there who are novices in the kitchen, so every once and awhile it is nice to throw out some EASY recipes!!

I made these to take to the BBQ the other night,and they were a hit with everyone especially the kids!

Ingredients:

Any fresh fruit of your choice (be cautious of fruit that yellows if out for too long)

Directions:

Cut up fruit in big chunks

Place on bamboo skewers, alternating colors

Serve with fruit dip (recipe below)

Fruit Dip

Ok ANOTHER no brainer for fruit dip

Ingredients:

1 small tub of cool whip

2 containers of strawberry yogurt

Directions:

Mix all together and refrigerate

Serve with fruit skewers

Memory Monday

2009-08-10T12:35:00.001-05:00

Here is a picture for memory Monday, It’s a little washed out because it’s an actual picture, back when people took pictures and went and got the film developed!

This is Mini D and I at a New Year’s Eve 70’s party! If I remember correctly, Mini D was 18 and I was 22! WOW we were babies!

No husband, No kids, No friendship?

2009-08-09T16:31:00.000-05:00

I wonder if any of my single readers out there have felt the shunning of their married friends before? I know A LOT of married with kids people, and there are several times that I don't get invited to do things. My little sister gets the same shunning with her friends, she works as a teacher and they will often talk about taking kids to the zoo or other fun outings and she doesnt get invited to do those things.

After awhile it gets old to read or hear about friends doing these fun things and not getting invited, ESPECIALLY because all of my friends know how much I like kids, and I must say I am good with them!

Well...... When recently one of my friends from high school and I have been hanging out and I love that she has no problem inviting me to do things or visit with her AND her family. We had talked about getting together on Saturday for a BBQ earlier in the week. So yesterday I get this call' she invited me to come over around 5 to cook out and hang out with their family. She said "I'm making the dough now for the hamburger buns", I got a kick out of that becuase she is such a little homemaker! So off I went to hang out with her, her husband, and their 3 kids. Whom are just precious and so much fun! She even invited me to bring over Bella (my dog)!

Well we had a delicious bbq, and hung out talking for a few hours, all of us, even her husband! He is totally comfortable hanging out and talking with us, and we have good conversations!

It's so nice to be welcomed by her family, and I love playing with her babies, and chatting with her teenager!!

Thank you Reeves family for not shunning me because I don't have a husband or kids! :)

The Collyars

6 months old!!

I've learned so much...

One more thing...

My Birth Story Part 2

My birth story part 1

34 weeks!!

27 weeks

25 Weeks!

20.4 weeks!!

18 & 6 weeks

I borrowed this from one of my BabyCenter Moms

Baby Lane Fun Facts!!

Congratulations!Your Due Date Is Saturday, September 10, 2011

Meet Baby Lane!!

Do you see what we see?

11 and 4

10 weeks and some change

7wks 3 days

Our Sweet Pea

5wks 4 days

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Collyar

I'm back...

73, 32, 38

Fall

Be careful what you wish for!!

Time changes

A few days later……

Monday, Tuesday and everyday there after without him…..

Sunday 05/30

Saturday 05/29

Friday 05/28

Our lazy Thursday together

Oklahoma comes to Arizona

This song reminds me of Oklahoma!!!

Numbers

May 22nd

A few pictures of Oklahoma (the state and the bf)

My "new" backyard

Complicated

4 days ago.......

My trip to OK

Oklahoma

Oklahoma……

It’s been awhile…. a long while

Week in review

Outraged by this news story!

Yup, I post pictures of my pets! Lame I know ;)

Obey and Trust

The wedding

Grateful for 2009

Urgent Prayer Request

Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay

Wynter Victoria

ASU Football

Fly, Fly little wing….

Random ramblings....

This is great!! Please do this!!

How stunning are these ladies?

Weekend recap

Wasted time....

What I did!

Curly Hair

a moment of uncertainty….

The Happiest Place on Earth……

New Boys & Girls club opens Nov. 16 in Chandler

Library

Man of the year

This is hilarious!!

Picture perfect memories

Old blogging site

Another old post from my old blog

Article about my sister and father!!!

Wedding Planning

Memory Monday

Abercrombie & Fitch pitches new trashy T-shirts to America's youth

Faith

Humane Humanity

I need a hero…..

Update

Congratulations!
Your Due Date Is Saturday, September 10, 2011